Pick Yourself Up, Dust Yourself Off

And start all over again?

I feel like I need to do that in many areas of my life right now.

This past weekend was Pride weekend here in Toronto, and I ran my favourite 5k race with team Go Skirt! Well, I ran it as  best as I could as I’m still dealing with the psoas muscle that will never heal so this year was much like my very first attempt at the race and the time was a lot like it too, coming in around 35 minutes.

Even though I’ve accomplished so much in so many areas of my life, I feel like I have to go back to the very beginning and start fresh again as I’ve fallen so behind and I don’t even recognize the girl who stares back at me in the mirror anymore.

I have to go  back and learn to run again. Thanks to this injury I haven’t been able to do  more than 5k since March. Although I’m not 100 per cent better, I can run more often than I do. I need to get over my fear of getting out there and trying. Then maybe I can get Two little monkeys picking up dust and throwing it aroundback to running with my friends.

I have to go back and lose a bucket load of weight. Thanks to going on and off old medication and being introduced to others that have lovely side effects including weight gain (YIPPEEE!) and me just wallowing in a hell of a lot of self-pity there is a far too much extra weight being carried around right now.

I have to go back and learn to love writing again. This is both a professional and personal item. I have lost my love for my work as well as writing for myself, something that I always made time for. It is clearly evident here and in the pages of my poor neglected journal.

I need to go back and rediscover the kitchen. Or maybe not just the kitchen, but my love of food. And not the processed, packaged or fast and easy variety, but recipes and fresh ingredients. I need to spend time in a kitchen and get messy (with apologies in advance to my boyfriend and his clean kitchen).

I need to go back to the books. To reading. To getting hopelessly lost in the pages of a book and devouring the written words on a page without even realizing it. I could easily go through a book or two a month before and now a book can lay on my nightstand for months before I even get through a chapter.

I need to go back to wandering. I spend a lot of time cooped up indoors, on the couch doing mindless things, either in front of the television or the computer. That’s a lot of wasted time. I used to spend a lot of time just walking and wandering. I’ve started to do that on Sundays now, wandering in suburbia and trying to find my way in city that isn’t my own and it’s always an adventure (especially when it ends at the bulk barn!).

I need to go back to tracking. Just writing what I eat; the good, the bad and the ugly. No counting Points or calories or anything just yet, just taking a good hard look at what I’m putting in my yap and being accountable. I bought a fitbook awhile ago and haven’t really used it yet but writing things out always work for me so I know it will be a great tool (and yes, I know about MFP and sparkpeople and every other online tool out there. I don’t need yet another app on my phone, thanks).

That should make for a summer of fun, right?

What things do you need to get back into or start all over again?


Krissie said...

As much as I hate to see that you have to dust yourself off, it made me incredibly happy to see you today. You know that you can do whatever you set your mind to. And you know that I've got your back!

Nia a.k.a. Genea said...

So glad you're back, Mouse :) Your post made me smile because I too decided to keep a journal to record what I eat -- no calories, no points! I like the format of the Fitbook, but I also picked up the Eat Clean Diet Journal because it contains quotes, fun tidbits has enough pages for 1 year's worth of food (not much place to write, but OK for point-form).

Christy said...

I think every once in a while we all need to refresh and start from the beginning. Slowly over time we let our "bad" habits come back - without even noticing sometimes. So welcome back, I've no doubt that you will have the success you've experienced in the past. I love the way you describe the different areas you wish to improve on, nowhere does it say "i want to lose 30 lbs".

And on a selfish note - I'm happy to have had a new blog post to read :)

Laura said...

Sorry things have been a bit sucktacular...but am glad to get a little something something to read from you.

corinacorona said...

(re-posting this with the blog i.d. i actually still update!)

I very much related to this stuff. I've let my long time love of cooking and writing dissipate this year and my running has gone to hell as well. I'm trying really hard to get back to it (and signed up for the 1/2 marathon in Montreal this fall to force myself!)

Anonymous said...

Reading your blog always inspires me when I need it, both on the health front and the writing front. I, too, have lost a lot of the same things and need to hit refresh. I started WW online 2 weeks ago again. In the past 2 years I have gone up 3 sizes. It's partly due to horrible stress at a publishing job where I (and the rest of the staff) was yelled and cursed at daily by the owner. Partly due to two ski accidents which injured both knees. One is OK but the other had a meniscus and ACL tear and I haven't been able to do the running I used to do to keep fitter. I am back into yoga though, despite double tennis elbow and the knee. And doing elliptical and bike, but with both arms and one knee it is hard to get strength workouts in, and my body responds so well to weights. It's a bummer. My eating (and drinking) became very mindless, and I am also in my mid-forties now. Definitely the body's response to excess and exercise is different than when I was younger. But I hate the amount of mental space my body takes up, and how much angst it produces. I will do what I can to get where I need to feel better mentally and physically.

from Karen in Calgary, one of your occasional stalkers. :)

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