See Yourself Through Someone Else’s Eyes

a portrait of me done by my niece Erin


You are your own worst critic.

People are quick to tell you this when you make a self-deprecating comment, appear as though you are in need of a boost on a gloomy outlook day, to comfort you when it appears as though perhaps things aren’t going your way or your work wasn’t quite up to snuff.

I’m not disputing the fact that sometimes we need hear this in order to crawl out from under our dark clouds and see the good before progress can be made. Getting stuck in a negative mindset is way too easy, whether it’s about work, relationships, friendships, etc., as it’s easier to wallow in self-pity and sadness than work to make things better.

And my head has been firmly stuck in that cloud for awhile now. Although things in my life are going REALLY WELL (well, broken ass aside), I am becoming less and less comfortable in my own skin (thanks to the broken ass, new medications and the copious amounts of food I’m shovelling in my mouth). Sadly, I know this is all of my own doing and I can undo it as quickly as I want to, I just can’t seem to find the motivation to do it.

Portrait by my niece Sydney

But I know I need to stop looking in the mirror and cutting myself down, and start looking at how other people see me.

My nieces provide me with the best reflections of my true self through their pictures.

They draw me neither too big or too small, and always smiling. Sometimes I have on pretty dresses and fancy shoes, other times I have on comfy pants and shirts and then there are accessories like my blackberry, a set of mouse ears and most of the time I have my tongue sticking out.

The way in which they interpret my appearance and character is remarkable and rarely changes as days, weeks and years go by. I could actually line up their pictures (as I’m a proud auntie who keeps as many as I can) and there will be little variation as time passes beyond their artistic abilities improving.

With their wide-eyed innocence, these little monkeys see the real me. The imperfections that I see staring back at me every day don’t translate into their drawings or even register on their radars. Sure, body parts are either exaggerated or downplayed, but it’s what is beneath my skin that really shines through. And THAT is what truly matters.

It’s my choice to change my outward appearance. This I’ve always known. But it’s also my choice in terms of the person I choose to be. I’m grateful that I am the person I am and it is an image burned into their little minds, transferred onto paper every time they draw a picture for me. They are my best and most honest critics.

Who is your best critic?
Who do you rely on for their best and most honest opinion?


Niffer said...

I don't really know who my best critic is, but I do know that I freakin' love the mouse ears that you're sporting in that picture.


Crabby McSlacker said...

What a sweet post! It makes me regret the fact that I haven't had much chance (or made enough effort) to get to know my nieces very well. Love that yours see the real you!

Michelle said...

Boo! Hope your bum muscles are going along with the healing plan. You will run again, you will - if you're not already. Take care.

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