I mean, not everyone does, but there are “kind souls” who think you’re obviously broken and in need of help attracting the opposite sex as they most certainly fear that you’re going to be a lonely cat lady for the rest of your life. Luckily for me, I’m not so big on the animals so you can all rest easy in that respect.
But a “pretty girl” like me should apparently be shacked up with 1.2 kid by now and explaining to people about my busy life only leads to comments like…
“Why don’t you date a runner?”
Well, let me tell you why I hope to never hook up with someone who runs:
- Runners talk about running: Honestly, I’d rather have a guy talk to me about baseball or technology or books. I get enough run talk from my friends at run club, which is fine as that’s what we predominantly have in common. I need someone to engage other areas of my brain.
- Runners are competitive: I’m sure I can find multiple areas in which to do the whole “I’m better than you/I win/Nyah Nyah” routine with a guy. Running doesn’t have to be one of them. I am a tortoise and I don’t need someone who will probably run at a significantly faster pace than I do telling me that he “slowed down” out there today doing what is MY race pace. Plus, I want someone to say “Congratulations!” when I get to the finish line and not, “Wow! My time is 30 minutes faster than yours!”
- Runners run in crazy weather: I know this because I’ve been the idiot in a snowstorm or downpour and then whined about it later. Nobody likes a whiner. I would rather have someone give me an excuse to stay home under the covers where it’s warm and dry.
- Runners have a lot of gear: From race shirts and medals to accessories and gadgets, runners collect a lot of swag and items they deem necessary to complete a run. Let’s not even talk about the laundry! I’m not willing to share closet space or have more crap invade my space. And heaven forbid we have the same race shirt and wear it on the same day.
- Runners sometimes wear spandex and/or short shorts: This is something I never want to see on a man that I care for. EVER. I know this doesn’t explain my Lance Armstrong obsession, though. Ah well…
What are some other characteristics of runners that would be a deal breaker for you? Black toenails? Scheduling time together around runs? Vacations only to race? Share with the class.
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