Loving you, in bits

Running is hard.

I hate the people who say they love it.

If I at any time have said that, I am truly sorry because I honestly hate it. It hurts, it’s a giant time sucker and it has drained my bank account time and time again.

That being said, it helped me transform my body, gives me crazy endorphins and has given me some of the greatest friends a girl could ever ask for.

But I still think it sucks.

…well, sometimes. Not all of the time :)

But sometimes it especially sucks when I pick a treadmill in front of a reflective surface. That is NEVER enjoyable.

The 30 minutes I spent there last night were torturous, but highly comedic moments were provided by a few of the super hot men at my downtown TO gym as every two minutes they’d need to STOP running and play with their temperamental iPods, leaving the treadmill after a solid 10 minute jog. Job well done, gentlemen. Well done! But as much as I would have loved to focus on the gong show that are the other gym patrons, the jiggle of my belly apron kept stealing my attention back…that is until the sweat started dripping off of my forehead and into my eyes. But that’s when I noticed my collarbone.

It wasn’t until I started losing weight that I even noticed those things and I’ve been stuck with them since. I call them the chip bowls now because I could seriously hide snacks in ‘em for company if I wanted to.

And maybe some dip on the other side.

But they’re the one part of me that I have grown to love in addition to the original parts that I adore, of course (my eyes and lips).

They’re a part of me that I could stare at all day, and I did stare at last night. Makes me think of comments I’ve had from guys and girls alike in the past about them that made me smile and blush. It made me feel skinny and fit in a moment where I felt big and sluggish as I plodded along on one of the slowest jogs of my life.

So thanks to the glistening sweat, the reflective darkened window, the gerbil wheel and my collarbone, I made it through 30 minutes I thought would never end.

Maybe tonight I’ll manage to find another bit to love about myself in that same window, then soon I’ll be able to live by MizFit’s mantra, finally buy the damn t-shirt and wear it with pride.

Experiments are fun

So this week I went down a point and decided to save up all of my weekly & activity POINTS for a gathering filled with CHEEEEEEEEESE on the weekend. It ended up with ok results as I’m sitting at 166.8 today, down a pound from last week.

Not too shabby if I do say so myself.

Things are going pretty darn well.

Life is just ducky; my family is super fantastic, my nieces are growing by leaps and bounds and my nephew is the cutest little thing in the world!

The only blip is that work is beyond crazy but if it wasn’t, I think I’d be upset.

But speaking of experimenting, enjoy my daddy dearest fumbling his way through chopsticks as he enjoys a little pho.

This, my dear friends, is why my nephew is going to be a heartbreaker.

 

I Think I Went to Mouse Mecca Today

I blame the IT guy.

It all started with a conversation about where their office was and it denigrated from there.

See, we were talking about the plethora of Korean options nearby. He wasn’t really a fan and mentioned that his guilty pleasure was going to the Metro across the street, getting camembert or brie, some smoked salmon and having that for lunch and somehow we got talking about grilled cheese.

And then I mentioned this place.

So me and the girls may have ended up at the Grilled Cheese in Kensington today.

So I blame Frank.

*shakes fist in the air*

There were TOOOOO many to choose from and we all had a tough time, but I settled on the Dill-icious, which was dill havarti with pesto, sundried tomato and onion, L had the Classic (cheddar with tomato and added bacon) and M had the Grilled Motzy (buffalo mozzarella, sundried tomato, pesto and arugula).

So. Damn. GOOD.

Granted, I don’t think that I have ever paid 8 bucks for a grilled cheese sandwich before (although it does come with chips and a pickle!), but I was one happy mouse and I would have gladly skipped back to work with a belly full of cheese in the sunshine had our 1pm meeting not shown up 15 mins early and made us completely frantic.

AND you should note that this DILL-icious lunch fit into my daily points because I budgeted for it AND I did NOT eat any of those silly little chips.

I is le awesome.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

 

Picking your battles

Every day I fight a battle with that stupid pastry tray in the residence dining hall.

In the morning it’s positioned next to the water cooler as I fill up my jug for the first time when I get my coffee and get hot water for my oatmeal or grab a boiled egg and an English muffin for breakfast.

At lunch time it meanders over and finds its way ON TOP of the water cooler, tempting employees to gobble up the goodies as a treat with lunch.

And yup – it’s still there mid-afternoon when I  make my third trip to fill up my 750ml bottle.

But why am I fighting this battle? Why am I even tempted by these treats?

WHY? WHY? WHY?

Probably because no one is watching two out of the three times a day.

No one can see my sneak a muffin, a mini danish, a cinnamon roll or two. Heck, maybe there’s even a cookie today.

I could scarf one or two down easily whilst filling up my bottle and scurry back on down the stairs, no one the wiser.

Except the scale.

And my conscience.

But now you see this.

And now I can’t.

Battle over.

I win.

 

**to be clear,  I’m still super duper on program. The tray just bugs the hell out of me and I think about it CONSTANTLY**

How Mousie Got Her Groove Back

*ahem*

167.8lbs

BOOYAH!

er, sorry for that.

I’m just a little proud of myself for two great weeks. See, getting back on this whole Weight Watchers thing was just as easy as I remembered it. It truly is like riding a bicycle. Even with GOING OUT WITH FRIENDS AND EATING AT RESTAURANTS AND HAVING NO CONTROL OVER YOUR MEALS FOR FOUR NIGHTS. Take THAT all you nay-sayers!

But here’s my beef du jour (not to be confused with au jus). Aujourd'hui, when I put in my weight, it told me to retake the points quiz. Fine and dandy with me. But at the end, it robbed me of a bloody point! Now, if I remember correctly, when I joined meetings for the first time in December of 2008 and I took the quiz for the momentum plan at THIS weight, I had 23 daily POINTS. Now it wants to give me 22 daily POINTS.

To misquote Teen Talk Barbie, math is hard.

Which is probably why I do Weight Watchers Online.

But I will be a brave little soldier and go forward. I will miss my little POINT, though I hardly knew him. He served me well.

Speaking of serving me well, this loss also puts about a 4lb dent into my goal for the X-weighted Challenge. This leaves me with about 13lbs left to lose, buckets full of motivation, a grin from ear-to-ear and my self-confidence is improving every day.

Oh, and I was blessed with a nephew this weekend named Declan who I am over the moon about. I haven’t had the opportunity to meet him yet but I am already in love with him ♥

Everybody needs a little patience…

and everybody needs a little gratuitous Guns N’ F’n Roses, I says :D

But I’m realizing that I have none.

Not G N’ R, but patience.

Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Niente. Rien.

You get the picture.

But this comes into play in just about every facet of my life, from eating to dating to work to family to weight loss.

You see, I spent most of the week with Tara, who was in town getting geekified, and we hung out, got our grub on, went in search of delicious cheeses and caused some trouble at the AGO.

I noticed one night while we were out eating that I had definitely ordered more than I needed. It was one of those eyes bigger than your stomach moments. But I think, in times like those, it’s more like a eat it while you can because you’re never going to see it again type deal. Why is it that I can’t accept that that these things will be around forever and I can come back again in a week, a month, a year and enjoy them again? Why do I think I have to have an extra side right then and there in order to feel satisfied? Why isn’t patience available on the menu or $2.95 instead of more chap chae?

But thankfully I haven’t been completely out of control. POINTS have been tracked. Everything tallies up. Everything still looks positive and the digital devil isn’t being a complete douchebag. Yet.

But this is where the patience thing comes back into play.

I want it all. NOW.

But do I even have a right to jump on it every day and expect to see a lower number? Hells no. Considering my activity has been limited to walking to and from work and ducking AGO security, I don’t deserve any pats on the pack nor should I be doing any happy dances next to the scale every morning.

Good things come to those who wait.

So I’ll just have to wait.

Or maybe find a time machine or something.

Craigslist might have one, right?

As if one challenge wasn’t enough

Have I mentioned yet that I’m running the Around the Bay 30km Road Race in March?

Yeah. I wrote 30km.

I have never gone beyond 21.1km before and I am freaking the frack out.

I signed up because a few short hours after the last CN Tower Stair Climb (where I may have been under the influence, and we all know that I am not supposed to drink), I *may* have told a fellow WeightWatchers.ca board member that I would run the race WITH her if she would do the climb again.

Because I’m so cocky about the climb being a breeze.

And running being so easy and all (insert eye roll here).

…when I’m drunk (of course).

…After one drink (I’m a cheap date – tell your single friends).

…and this is why I shouldn’t drink.

SIGH.

Have I been following the training schedule yet? Nope.

Have I been running much? Not really?

Will I be? Um, yes. I HAVE TO. …eventually.

I know I will finish the race, that’s a given. Even if I have to crawl. It will be a challenge for sure and something I will have to set out to best in years to come if I can muster up the desire to drag myself to Hamilton again *shudder*, but it makes me wonder if I will be crazy enough to challenge myself to do a marathon one day, something I had pondered before but then pushed out of my mind when my knees started to protest and I started to pack weight back on.

But a resolve to get healthy again, lose weight for good and push limits every day may make it a reality. Who knows what the future holds. Last year saw a lot of firsts for me and had me doing things I never thought I’d do, so who knows what’s in the cards.

I won’t count it out but I’m not going to set it in stone either.

But this one is already bought and paid for.

I’ll quit my whining now, suck it up and start my training. The booze got me in trouble, but my feet will get me out of it.

Was there ever a challenge that you got yourself into that you just couldn’t face or that you completed a tough one that you never imagined you could?

Sometimes things just work out

You know when you write a brilliant blog post in your head on your way to work and you really could have typed it out on your blackberry and you started to, but it was too freaking cold so you didn’t and all you were left with when you got to your destination was, “Where does that leave me? Well, right at the beginning, really.”

Um, yeah. How fitting.

So here I am. 3.7lbs down on my first week back on Weight Watchers Online.

Go me.

Part of me is doing my happy dance, shaking my big ol’ hips from side to side and part of me is disappointed Biggest Loser styles, as I am known to have a 5lb loss my first week back on program.

But dems da breaks.

Why?

I still have 20 some odd weeks on the X-weighted challenge to go. I have set a goal to get back under an hour running a 10km, something I have been MORE disappointed with than not being able to lose 5lbs (because I should give my head a shake there or a smack, really). I’ve posted my before pics on the challenge site (I will only LINK to them as research [and by research I mean having an actual conversation] has shown that my father will only read posts on here that include pictures and I don’t feel like torturing my dad, but just in case, Hi Daddy!) and the challenge has told me that I only need to lose 17lbs.

17 FREAKIN LBS.

FOR REALZ?

THAT’S IT?!

Here I am thinking I need to lose like 30lbs.

Apparently not.

This could be a lot less daunting than I thought. Things are TRULY easier when you break them into smaller, more manageable goals.

So here’s to 26 weeks and 17lbs.

or 16 now.

Since EVERYONE is doing it…

and everyone LOVES a challenge, I will be doing the XWeighted.Com National Challenge starting January 9.

When it came up on twitter last month, I was of course interested but knowing that a lot of other people in our little community are as well makes it that much THAT more fun.

AND the fact that none of us have to actually run it is a HUGE bonus.

The challenge was created to help foster a permanent lifestyle changes and create healthier Canadians. It will run for six months starting this weekend!

But better health isn’t the only reward. There are PRIZES! Since Amy is going to murder us all and win, she’ll get fly off to Canmore with a pal to hang out with Paul Plakas and get her sweat on and make her dirty dreams come true, we’ll have to all duke it out for the second and third.

I will just be thrilled if I can score the shoes, the fitness equipment or the gift cards that they’re giving away as prizes throughout the challenge.

And losing weight and feeling better about myself would be peachy keen too.

They’ll be holding events on Saturday in my area, so I’m tempted to go in, get myself measured and weighed and complete whatever fitness test (*gulp*) they’ve got going on. But you don’t have to show up to an in-person event to participate. Just sign up on January 9 or 10 at xweighted.com and follow the instructions!

Then it’s six months of good eats and lots of sweat.

Totally doable, right?

But if you and your family are struggling with weight and overall health, would like more one-on-one support from the X-Weighted team AND live in the Vancouver, Calgary or Kelowna area, you should submit an application to the brains behind the show. They’re currently looking for families for the show and would love to tell your story! How cool would it be to inspire a nation and improve the health and well-being of your family, eh?

 

But if you’re in TO and planning on headed to the downtown weigh-in, let a mouse know. We can take the digital devil on together :)

SNAP!

Yeah. That was what I did yesterday morning.

173.9

What.

The.

EFF?!

Had I been careless in my eating over the holidays? You bet your sweet arse. Did I watch my weight increase by three pounds a day for a couple of days and do anything to stop it? Not really. Did I exercise every day last week? Yeah, I did actually.

Oh. Well, makes you wonder what horrors I would see if I hadn’t, eh?

So after the first SNAP that morning of me, standing naked on the digital devil and trying NOT to cry, I made a SNAP decision to sign up for Weight Watchers Online again as soon as I got my rear end near a computer.

My first two days have been stellar, really, as is the norm when you recommit. I’ve had the “I’m hungry and I’m going to do nothing about it because my day has already been planned and tracked! Ha! In YOUR FACE!” moments with an inflated sense of pride and righteousness that I’m sure you’re all familiar with.

It’s odd how that comes with the territory, eh? Feeling high and mighty on a lack of food (but not a lack of calories – let’s not confuse this with an eating disorder, now) is truly a BIZARRE thing. I don’t know about you, but I get all of these crazy images of my tummy eating the fat under my skin and the little victory dance it does over the bodies of the slain cellulite.

Hmmm…maybe I do need to eat as I’m clearly delusional.

So delusional that I stepped on my scale this morning thinking that ONE day of diligence would be rewarded with my goal weight.

Alas, a mere pound had disappeared and I was then SNAPped back into reality.

But I have to realize that THIS IS my reality. Counting points, making good choices and tracking are what I need to do, like I’ve done with HUGE success before. It gets results.

So I should be able to do it like this *SNAP*

Here’s hoping I won’t crackle and pop.