11/2/10

Taking Skinny Out of my Vocabulary

So a few weeks ago, I decided to put my batteries back in my scale. I was feeling a bit doughy and down on myself and thought seeing some shocking numbers would be the wake up call that I needed, right?

Well oddly enough I couldn’t find the motivation to even get up on the digital devil once I popped those bad boys back in. I don’t know if that was a good sign or not that I had FINALLY rid myself of my number obsession. (yahoo!)

See, my outlook on myself is pretty good. Yes, like anyone else I do have days where I’m not so keen on my body, but overall it serves me well. Just give me a new left knee and get rid of my belly apron and I’d be over the moon, I says!

But yesterday was the beginning of a new month and just a couple months shy of a new year that is going to bring HUGE new adventures, so I thought why not get a head start on all of this healthy crapola and resolutions and such, right?

So I climbed on top of that bad boy to face the music.

*DUN DUN DUN*

It would seem as though I have gained a whopping FOUR POUNDS in the last FOUR MONTHS. I’m only 158lbs. Shocking, I know.

But it’s a great reminder that I’m STILL HEALTHY. I know what needs to be done to maintain a HEALTHY weight. Those four extra pounds won’t stick around and are probably the junk food that I’ve consumed in the last few weeks as well as the Halloween treats that are sitting in my tummy like a lead balloon. Plus, I’ve been sloth like for the last two weeks (hello? You run! Put on your shoes…). When I weigh myself again in January (yes, you read that right), those four pounds won’t be there. Excuses? Maybe. Truth? You bet your ass.

--- oooh! I think I just felt the shift from a weight loss blogger to a healthy living blogger. Did you? ---

Bottom line: I need to remember this whole healthy notion when the doughy feeling overcomes me and remind myself that it’s NOT acceptable to think I need to lose weight. Whatever shape or state my body is in at THAT present moment, is ALL GOOD. See, I’ve watched a lot of these “inspirational” videos pop up lately and sayings posted on blogs, facebook and twitter and a reoccurring theme is “skinny” and “thin.” Those terms bugs the crap out of me just the same as the f word does. I get that people think my weight battle has been one of vanity. To look a certain way and fit into society’s definition of what LOOKS healthy. But that’s where healthy and skinny get blurred and confused. I’m never going to be the poster mouse for skinny. Sure, I can buy a small t-shirt, but I’m never going to buy boots that fit over my calves, wear a bikini on a beach or have thighs that don’t rub together. My goal has never been to fit into that box. My goal has always been to fit in a range that medical professionals say is healthy for my height. Heck! The whole basis for my weight loss journey was born out of a desire to avoid having to be dependent on drugs to live (odd that I still have to live on some for other reasons, but that’s a sad blog for another day). People can tell me all they want that it was born out of vanity, and yes, I do get caught up in it at times, but at the end of the day, I’d rather be a size 10 than a size 4. If I’m 150lbs for the rest of my life, well I’m the luckiest girl in the world.

Why?

Because that means that I will have successfully maintained about an 80lb weight loss from my highest recorded weight. That I managed to stay in a healthy weight range for my height. That because of that,  I accomplished a bunch of foolish things that an unhealthy me couldn’t do before.

Healthy is pretty damn awesome if you ask me.

I wonder if it comes in polka dots….

6 comments:

PunkRockMom said...

I love this post. LOVE it. LOVE.

Thank you:)

krissie said...

So the other day, I got on the scale after 30 days without the scale. And 24 days without tracking a single calorie in or out. And I saw a gain. of .4. Not 10, 4, or even 1. 4/10 is like a good pee.

It's a bit of why I stopped blogging. Because I wanted to remember that I love food and running because of what they are, not because of how they can change my body if I manipulate them. And I don't know that I could have changed my mindset if I kept blogging.

So now I just leave post-length comments on other people's blogs.

(and record podcasts...but that's still getting cleaned up.)

I love this post, my friend. And I totally get it.

Jaime said...

I read this post earlier while lying at the physiotherapist with electrode thingies attached to me, and made a mental note to come back to say...

LOVE THIS!!!

LOVE YOU!!

Love,
me :)

xox

Laura said...

You hit it bang on cookie. I mean, carrot stick.
Hope this time we can meet up after the Bay as I will be there as well.

Nif said...

You know what I hate? The saying "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels." You totally sum it up, sister. That's not living. It ain't healthy to think that way. And it sure as hell ain't fun.

You rock, my little friend.

marie said...

@Nif - HA! I actually trashed that statement at one point but thought I was being too negative and took it out :)

@Laura - we WILL meet. I will make sure of it :)

@Jaime, PRM, Krissie - <3

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