Dear Pitchy McPitcherson,

Hi! My name is Marie. My name is not mouseroo, webmaster or dear sir. You’d know this if you’d taken the time to read any one of the 800 or so posts here on my blog.

I’m taking the time out to write to you since you wrote me the worst pitch ever a well-crafted love note that I just couldn’t leave unnoticed in my inbox and deserved more than just a prompt deletion reply.

I appreciate that you’re looking to shill your product here on mouseroo’s mumblings, mousaroo’s mublings, <your blog name here> my blog but this isn’t the space for it.

Why? I have enough crap in my small apartment and I don’t need more of it.

But really, I play in the same sort of sandbox as you and I’m not one for free stuff. I did it for awhile and it was fun, but it gets played out REALLY fast. I get that bloggers are an awesome vehicle to share a wealth of information with their community on the interwebz, but when sloppy pitches come my way, no amount of free stuff is going to make me jump at the chance to write for you. I tend to like to write for me alone (as you’ll note by the zero comments I get *tumbleweed rolls by*).

But given the influx of emails I’ve been getting lately, I feel the need to write this so that MAYBE they’ll stop.  So let’s look at ways that YOU can help yourself not only here in mouseville, but with my friends as well:

  1. What’s her name again? I know this one is really hard, especially since every post has my real first name. I’m sure if you dig around you’ll find it. My blog url is complicated, though. I’ll help you with this one. Mouse-a-roo. That A is really sneaky, eh?  Say it again with me kids, MOUSE – A – ROO. Good job!
  2. What’s she all about? I am NOT a mommy blogger. Fashion does NOT interest me. I don’t drink juice. I do not care about the MMA. I have no interest in the Atkins diet. My header gives you me in a nutshell and that takes you all of five seconds to read. I really subscribed to the K.I.S.S. principle there, eh?
  3. What’s my 10-20? Sending me information on a promotion in the US is fairly useless. I live north of the 49th parallel in an igloo, so information on dogsleds and parkas are always welcome.
  4. What should YOU say? Well, talk to ME directly! Show me that you read the blog, give me a two line snippet of one or two posts. Congratulate me on a race, or a weight loss milestone, tell me to cheer up if I wrote something about being down – just show that you know that I actually wrote (or maybe I haven’t written) and you NOTICED! Just don’t play it up like you’ve read my blog and your product falls in line with what I write and who reads it when we have nothing in common. It makes the entire industry look foolish.
  5. Who should you write to? It’s subtle, but you should be writing to me and me alone. Make sure it’s not a form letter sent out blindly to a whole whack of bloggers with generic information and the onus on me to contact you back for more information. Make it simple, engaging, personalized and thoughtful.


Personally, I just don’t like being pitched at all. I like knowing where I can go and purchase cool stuff MYSELF rather than having stuff thrown at me, so if you want to tell me about cool stuff happening in TO or if a new health product is being introduced in my neighbourhood, maybe a sale on fitness stuff or a healthy challenge online, then DEFINITELY let a mouse know.

Sound good?

Until then, let’s aim for inbox zero.

<3 mouse


vanessatwopointoh said...

Bwahaha. You are all sass and I love it.

Nia a.k.a. Genea said...

Love your post!!

jainey said...


Nif said...

Whadda ya mean you don't like MMA? That stuff is the shit.

Christina said...

Go Marie go! You rock, I never comment but you are awesome!

Shirls said...

I feel like we think the same, but you say it sooooo much better! ;0)

Shirls said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Merry said...

Well, that's just the price you pay for being such a popular blogger, you shameless hussy!

When I blogged at Cranky Fitness, I used to marvel at how the hostess Crabby McSlacker dealt with slimy PR people with such grace. I finally lost it and posted a scathing review that was excessively honest re: PR people.


Oddly enough, the number of PR people contacting me dropped quite sharply after this review. Go figure.

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