Loving you, in bits

Running is hard.

I hate the people who say they love it.

If I at any time have said that, I am truly sorry because I honestly hate it. It hurts, it’s a giant time sucker and it has drained my bank account time and time again.

That being said, it helped me transform my body, gives me crazy endorphins and has given me some of the greatest friends a girl could ever ask for.

But I still think it sucks.

…well, sometimes. Not all of the time :)

But sometimes it especially sucks when I pick a treadmill in front of a reflective surface. That is NEVER enjoyable.

The 30 minutes I spent there last night were torturous, but highly comedic moments were provided by a few of the super hot men at my downtown TO gym as every two minutes they’d need to STOP running and play with their temperamental iPods, leaving the treadmill after a solid 10 minute jog. Job well done, gentlemen. Well done! But as much as I would have loved to focus on the gong show that are the other gym patrons, the jiggle of my belly apron kept stealing my attention back…that is until the sweat started dripping off of my forehead and into my eyes. But that’s when I noticed my collarbone.

mousearoo's collarboneIt wasn’t until I started losing weight that I even noticed those things and I’ve been stuck with them since. I call them the chip bowls now because I could seriously hide snacks in ‘em for company if I wanted to.

And maybe some dip on the other side.

But they’re the one part of me that I have grown to love in addition to the original parts that I adore, of course (my eyes and lips).

They’re a part of me that I could stare at all day, and I did stare at last night. Makes me think of comments I’ve had from guys and girls alike in the past about them that made me smile and blush. It made me feel skinny and fit in a moment where I felt big and sluggish as I plodded along on one of the slowest jogs of my life.

So thanks to the glistening sweat, the reflective darkened window, the gerbil wheel and my collarbone, I made it through 30 minutes I thought would never end.

Maybe tonight I’ll manage to find another bit to love about myself in that same window, then soon I’ll be able to live by MizFit’s mantra, finally buy the damn t-shirt and wear it with pride.


Jen said...

*sigh* my collarbones are what I miss from gaining weight...I have a few pics of me (actually after not TOO much weight lost - so I hope to see them again soon!) Where they are just lovely, and this little straight across line at my shoulders...I could stare all day too...

One day we will meet again!

Yours are absolutely devine little chip holders :p

Natalie said...

You have a collar bone? Sweet. I don't think I have one. Yet.

Way to get through the running!

Maria said...

Sigh. Lucky gal with collarbones. Mine only appear when I'm under 110lbs. And since that's not happening anytime soon - for good reason! - I have to live with my busty upper half.

You have very nice chip bowls. I liked that description.

chocolateramblings said...

Arm-pit holes!!! I get your collarbone feeling from my arm-pit holes. I mean how my armpits actually indent in now - like... holes. I never had those until I started losing weight. I love them... :)

Krissie said...

I don't know if I l love running yet, but I love being a runner. I can't run on treadmills, though, so I dislike the weather some days. Cold I can handle, but not rain and wind.

I'm currently obsessed with being able to see the bones on the top of my feet. I am so excited for sandals season!

Leanne said...

:P Yep.. I am one of those people.


Lovin your collarbones ma dear!!!

marie said...

@Jen - soon you will be reunited :P

@nat - You'll see them too and you'll be hooked. Mark my words!

@Maria - I envy your smile. Seriously.

@CR - YES! I remember marveling at them the first time I lost weight too!!

@krissie - Right now the treadmill it's a means to an end because it's cold and gross. I wish it was nicer out. I'll have to venture out soon enough when the 10k run clinic that Sam & I are coaching starts next month.
The bones in the feet thing is cute. I've never noticed that!

@Leanne - You're so cute :P

Shirls said...

I love seeing collar bone, its just "that" thing that made me feel like I reached my goal - too bad its dissapeared for me, but on you girl! your rocking the collar bone!!

when people ask me about running I always say "the best thing about running is stopping" LOL

Lucas said...

That would be the hottest container for dip ever! :)

Tricia said...

Loved this post!

And I have crazy prominent collar bones now too after losing weight. I try not to complain because I remember when I was overweight that I missed those darn collar bones. :)

Miz said...

I love your words.
I long for a guestpost.

xo xo & thank you for the love back,


Sonya said...

When I was skinny I loved my clavicles the most! They Rock! I can't wait to see them again, sadly they are currently hiding under piles of fat.

kim said...

so funny! i totally started noticing my collarbones when I would use the elliptical at my parents house - it is not directly in front of a mirror, but one off to the side - i'd catch a glimpse of that long lost beauty and was like WHOA, this is ACTUALLY working! funny that you noticed them first while working out too. and the chips & dip comment is awesome.

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