Screw New Year's Resolutions!

You know your family reads your blog when…

You get food related things for Christmouse.

I was really blessed this year, especially given that I asked for nothing. I got a whole whack of cool stuff.

Earlier this month, my sister-in-law & brother told me that I had to empty my freezer for my Christmouse present. Figuring that it would be cookie dough to use with my awesome Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer cookie cutters they gave me for my birthday, I was excited and made sure there was nothing in there this week (except for the baking I gave away that you saw last week).

Well, I didn’t anticipate the OTHER food they got me.

They went to Designed Dinners in Whitby and made me meals! I remember going by the store with my sister-in-law, said it was a really neat concept, and she went and made me some of them to try!

The way it works is that you go in, make really great meals from scratch and take them home so that you’ll have healthy options to whip up when you’re low on time, energy, etc. It’s a healthier and tastier alternative to your Lean Cuisines.

The most exciting part? They have the POINTS value on ‘em.

The not so exciting part? I have no room in my freezer again. 

I am looking forward to trying them out and reviewing them for y’all, though.

I’m also looking forward to using the silicone bake ware my mom bought me, but thankfully have no reason to bake right now.

But the best thing? I had casually mentioned on twitter that I wanted something, but thought it was too late…and Jainey made it his mission to find it.

Looks like a rat trap, right? You’re probably wondering why the hell I’d want something like that. I mean, I live in an apartment. If I had a vermin issue, I should be contacting building management and getting the hell out of dodge, right?

Well, this isn’t a trap, per se… 

IT’S A CHEESE BOARD!

AND, the trap part is a  slicer!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Best. Gift. EVER!

Oh, and spending time with my family. That was swell too :)

Let them eat pancakes!

I’d like to think my nieces think I’m cool.

I give them what they want when they visit me and try to make them good stuff to eat, too.

Granted, I was lazy the other night and made them ravioli for dinner, but I can’t be perfect all of the time!

So the next morning the eldest one was asking for the double chocolate chip pancakes I made them once before when they stayed with me. Sadly, without cocoa, I couldn’t do it. BUT, my mom had sent me home with the 2010 Milk Calendar which had a great pancake recipe in it.

So we enjoyed some Apple Cinnamon Pancakes while watching cartoons and drinking tea.

The recipe made far too many pancakes for their little tummys but they ate them up (and I was still eating them yesterday). Each serving is about three fairly large pancakes.

Even the little one was enjoying them. Well, after she cried that she wanted to play Rock Band, snuggled with her bunny and played with some toys.

But this was all that I was looking for, really.

Don’t mind her miserable look. She really did like them and was smiling in other pictures.

But if she likes ‘em, they must be good!

 

Even if they have fruit in ‘em :P

 

They have the Erin thumbs up and the mousearoo stamp of approval!

Merry Christmouse!

from me to you and yours, have a wonderful holiday :)

 

Blogger Virtual Talent Show!

So a couple of weeks ago, MizFit hatched an idea to celebrate the holidays across the blogosphere.

From that, the blogger virtual talent show was born.

I had a bunch of ideas for it, but sadly I did not get a chance to do any of them because of the drama of my life.

So I give you this, a half-assed contribution to the cause.

And I’m only half way done…

Ah! The Christmouse season is upon us!

Which means I get my arse into the kitchen to bake.

Since I have two weeks off (don’t hate!), I spent my first day of vacay baking away.

And I only got Ginger Molasses, Toblerone Shortbread and Peanut Butter Chocolate Chunk done.

My fridge is already bursting at the seams…

And so are the containers…

I’m still planning on baking pumpkin scones and maybe some oatmeal cookies, but will have to wait a few days for those.

I’ll have little people visiting tomorrow who demand my attention, although they do love to help bake…

We’ll see.

But I am proud that I haven’t had a single cookie, and with them boxed away, I have ZERO temptation to eat them either.

It’s just unfortunate that there will temptations everywhere this week.

But I’ll take my minor victory, thank you very much.

What are YOU baking this Christmouse?

“That’s because you’re comparing yourself to stick-like celebrities”

Um…come again?

Someone asked me what I did yesterday  morning. I relayed to them my typical Sunday rituals: Long run followed by feeding my couch some ass and a side of shopping. I also told them that I  had wanted to run 14km but didn’t make it that far. Sadly, my body couldn’t handle that despite me wanting to, and I cut it short. 10km is a good distance for a run, but I’m disappointed with myself and what I used to be able to accomplish with ease. Of course they thought I was crazy, and I guess I am.

But then I go and blame the extra 20lbs for giving up early on the run. You know, those 20lbs that I put on and I can’t take off (and I seem so obsessed with in every blog entry this past year). No one to blame but myself, of course. When my head is in the game, I can work them off, but it’s not there yet with the things flying at me from every angle and my inability to plan around them currently.

It’s all good. It will settle down eventually.

But when I say things like this, to people who are only acquaintances still, they think I have some celeb mag fascination with a perfect body.

Um…right.

I don’t know about all of you,  but I really don’t. I know that look is unattainable for me. I will never have the flat tummy or a bikini ready body. Yes, I  may have had dreams in high school where I’d go away from the summer and return a complete fox, but then I grew up, wised up, and realized that I can only have a healthy body weight and not the abs of those gracing the covers of shape and self or whatever they are (clearly I don’t read them). Honestly, I think that’s way better, too.

So what’s up with people thinking that the airbrushed abs are what I’m striving for? Yes, I get that I can be obsessive about my albatross that is the extra weight and that in the grand scheme of things, I should be thankful that I’ve only gained back that much and not the other 40lbs+ that used to cling to my bones, but the issue is that I’m comparing current self to my skinny self and it makes me entirely disappointed.

I was so focused for so long and I let a string of bad things get me way off track. Now that I’m on an upswing, I still can’t tell my head from my ass and the goal is slipping down the priority list day by day, as are the cookies past my lips.

I honestly just want to be the girl who can run without feeling winded again. The girl who fits in the clothes in her closet. The girl who felt healthy and happy every day. That’s it.

I write a magazine. I don’t need to be on the cover of one.

I just need to get back on that treadmill today and pick up the 4km that I missed yesterday.

Sucking it up

It has been a crazy month here.

I was thrown right into the fire, which I love, but I wasn’t so keen on all of the unexpected. Having event after event definitely takes its toll on you.

So last week, I had to dig into my closet to find something to wear to a “formal” event. Now, this is no tux and ball gown event, more like a high school prom sort of dealio. Looking at the dresses and skirts I have assembled in my closet, I was utterly disappointed with what stared back at me. I have cute little summer dresses and one foxy dress that has a slit up the front that is definitely not appropriate for a religious institution (although, if you saw what the kids were wearing, I was positively school-marmish).

So, I gathered up my courage and a credit card, checked my pride at the door and headed off to Yorkville to find me a lovely new frock for the event.

And I think I did well. I find this adorable little dress at H&M. Since I’m a thrifty girl  and I knew this would be a temporary piece in my wardrobe given that I want to lose these 20lbs, it was the right store AND the right price (only $49.95).

It was perfect paired with black nylons and black pointy toe sling backs.

I think I looked pretty darn good. Sadly, I was the one taking photos at the event so there’s no picture of myself in the dress.

Le sob.

But there was no reason to sob.

Not even for this.

Yes, I purchased the little grey dress in a size 14. Granted, it was bigger than I needed, but they didn’t have anything smaller that I would fit into. A 6 or a 2 was NOT going to work for me.

So I got over my fear of the double digit sizes, bought myself a pretty dress and got nothing but compliments.

Sometimes you just have to own what you got and don’t pay any attention to the numbers.

All I want to do is lose weight,

…but apparently all I’ve lost is my sense of humour.

I never truly realized just how popular Weight Watchers was until I was successful at it (and then a bit of a failure…). Now, every office I seem to land in has coworkers that are following the program.

There are two ladies here who attend WW meetings, but they jokingly refer to it as “fat club.” I find it sad that they refer to it this way as they’re trying to make light of something that has always been a running joke with people of all shapes and sizes.

For instance, I have twitter searches and Google Alerts set up for the word “Presbyterian,” as it goes with the job and all. Well, numerous times a week a joke appears in my twitter search.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Now, this isn’t a new joke and has been around for years, but the fact that it pops up every now and again has me rolling my eyes and getting a little miffed. I’ve never seen the funny side to fat and the word itself irritates me beyond belief.

But why do we use humour in reference to weight?  Why is it something that we can pull out of our arsenal to make people laugh? (I so wanted to write titter – he he – I’m 12 today, I swear) And why is it that we need to make fun of ourselves in order to be accepted or feel better?

I used to do it, and still do, but I know *why* I do it and what reaction I’m hoping for when I do it. I’m down on myself and want someone to lift me up. I want them to laugh or tell me I’m just fine. Making someone laugh is a self-confidence booster, as is taking shots at oneself to get compliments and sunshine blown up yer backside.

It still doesn’t make fat funny. Whether it’s a 300lb person making fun of themselves or a “healthy” person poking fun at someone larger, no one should have to use such a weighty topic to lighten a mood. And joining Weight Watchers isn’t something to be ashamed of. People should be applauded for making healthy choices and making small improvements towards a better well being.

Does it mean that I can’t refer to myself as fat every now and again? Yes and no. The thing is that I shouldn’t need to, whether I’m in a healthy range or so far from it that it becomes a concern. The negative way in which I’m choosing to use such a banal word is entirely unnecessary. I should embrace what I have and move towards changing it if I’m not happy. I don’t need to go around either stating the obvious or using a word that I have no business using as it can be seen as offensive to others who are in much more dire straits than I am.

We need to focus on the positives, including the change we want to see, not dwell on the negatives and try to make jokes about it to make ourselves feel better.

The end result is what will bring us happiness, not the fleeting laughter that peters out in reality, because it can manifest into something more negative in our heads.

Because I’d rather be applauding your success than laughing at a work in progress.

I prefer doodling to scribbling

But apparently I can’t change the name of awards that people create.

Bah – you all know how I feel about rules.

But Sunshine and Sadie received them and passed it along to me. I think it’s awesome that people do that but am always befuddled as to who to pass it on to, so I rarely do.

You can read more about this scribbler thing and its rules, but I’m making this up as I go along, as usual.

So instead of five of you, I’m giving you five reasons that I think each and everyone of you poor saps reading this drivel RIGHT NOW are completely awesome and mean the world to me.

Deal?

Good. On y va!

1. You cheer me on (and up). Given that many of you have never met me, I find it so amazing how you pick me up when I fall, you send virtual high fives when I’m trying to accomplish the impossible and some of you even think I’m funny (that one I am truly grateful for as I think I am the dullest girl around).
2. You inspire me. Whether you’re setting out to lose 10lbs or 100 or you’re just whipping up things from what’s left in your fridge, you either make me want to get up off of my butt and do something or participate in a little kitchen creativity of my own. Wait a minute – the latter could be why I gained weight. Hmm…may have to rethink the awesomeness of some of you now…
3. You give me perspective. You all give me a lot of it. Some days I think that I’m all alone and no one understands what I’m going through. YOU prove me wrong. You know the situations. You’ve been there. You offer the lighter side or show me that I REALLY don’t have it so bad. I get you and you get me.
4. You open my eyes. I consider myself “in the know” in terms of current events, technology and other assorted nerdery, but sometimes you tell me about things that I had no frickin’ clue about. And it makes me feel like less of a nerd, which is hard to do!
5. You’re there. Pretty simple, really. Your presence builds the community. You give and you take. You read and respond. You make this site a two way conversation rather than just me blathering on about weight loss/gain, food, exercise and the randomness of life. You may not comment or read all of the time, but hey – that’s life. Just knowing that you’re out there makes a difference to me.

And for that, I am grateful.

 

Oh – and I know that I didn’t post a pic for Monday’s weigh-in. I did take one, but I’ve been stupid busy (and forgetful). It was 165.3, which is up a WHOPPING .1 since last week. I have decided that my body is beyond ridiculous and better have a big loss next week…well, if the cookies at work will disappear, that is.

Sigh.