Are you pondering what I’m pondering…

Apparently this guy is.

If it doesn’t load, visit: Quick Fix: See John Run

When you feel like cheating…

It happens to me almost every night at 8p.m.

I suddenly crave something else. It’s not that I’m hungry as most times I’ve just finished dinner, but I just want something salty (or sweet, depending on the day).

Well, last night I also found that I was in dire need of dish soap and advil. Awesome combo, eh? So off I toddled to the Shoppers just a couple of blocks away from my place.

Now, you all know me and how I will go to a drug store and end up with a load of candy too. I was psyching myself up the whole walk there, reminding myself of my OP week and how I did NOT need to ruin it with junk.

But then I walked down the junk food aisle anyway.

sigh.

BUT…I found something else there.

Lately I’ve really liked the RiceWorks chips and even received a pack in my race kit the other day. The problems with them is that for the small amount in the bag, they’re not worth the five points that come along with them. I may as well have spent those points on Doritos for almost the same value.

But just below the rice chips were these bad boys. Cheecha Krackles.

Yes, I was totally sucked in by the BOLD red flash, telling me that there were less than 3g of fat per TWO cup serving.

Two cups is a helluva lot, ya know…

Intrigued, I turned the package over to know the other ways in which I’d be set back for scarfing down these delightful looking snacks.

Well, I was pleasantly surprised. Less than 100 calories for a large portion of the air puffed potato and wheat snacks in my favourite flavour, DILL PICKLE! Sodium was a bit high, though, as it is with most of this junk…but what the heck!

So with the bag tucked under my arm, I collected my advil and soap, paid for my junk and was out the door, excited to try the krackles out.

And just to be sure the two cup/weight of the serving size were accurate, I put the chips in a container that holds two cups and THEN put it on my trusty old food scale.

Bang on, my friends. BANG. ON.

All that was left to do was enjoy my little treats and tune into some Hell’s Kitchen. And I did. And both were goooood.

The snacks are like those sour cream and onion rings (yeah, you know what I’m talking about) but thinner and lighter. The flavour was a little light but good. I tend to like a more overpowering dill flavour but this wasn’t.

I’d definitely buy them again and perhaps try out the cheese or salt and vinegar flavours instead.

DEFINITELY worth the two POINTS!!!

A lose-lose situation

Sometimes, your past comes back to haunt you.

In my world, it’s usually a guy that I have hung out with, dated, etc. that will come out of the woodwork, ask to see me and then disappear again. It happens more than I’d like to admit, really.

But in the last week, the only person that’s been coming out of the woodwork to haunt me is my former self.

See, it all started with the crazy chiro and our discussion about weight loss. When I said I just wanted to be back to where I was again, he said, “well, you don’t need to get that low again.”

I laughed at the time but wondered what the hell he meant. I never felt small, I never looked small in the mirror, what were people seeing?

So then I was facestalking someone who I had a crush on but rejected me (my own fault because I had treated him poorly in the past when he didn’t deserve it) and stumbled upon pics of me at his birthday a couple of years ago.

Ok. So maybe I was small.

Oddest thing was, I remember thinking that I was the fattest girl in the bar that night yet, sitting down and never moving, and constantly adjusting my clothes to make sure I was all covered up.

Yup. I was completely unaware of my warped body image.

So back to guys coming out of the woodwork. I reconnected with another guy who I had spent time with around the same time the picture that’s been bugging me was taken. He said I looked great, and although I was flattered, I told him that I unfortunately gained some weight. Why I said that, I have no clue. Probably insecurities, as always. But his answer: “well, you were really small then.”

Lord love a duck!

I can’t win! I want to be back in that range because things were easier. I could run faster, I was eating better,and was healthier overall.

But now instead of worrying about just getting back in a range NEAR there and I have to worry about people thinking I’m too small and unhealthy?

HOW exactly can I achieve both?!?!?!

Going for goal....again

Seen & Heard

Who: Me, of course
When: Friday @5:30ish
Where: My chiro’s office in the beach(es)
What: was I doing? getting my back cracked and my knee looked at. He knows it sometimes bugs me when I run.

Why… he felt the need to give me advice on my weight is BEYOND me.

See, my crazy chiro (who I know I have mentioned a couple of times before) likes knowing when I’m doing a big run, mostly so he can check on my knees.

“You had a race scheduled for just after you saw me last, right?”

I reply that I didn’t but I did have one coming up this week (UGH).

“Oh! Good. Have you been training? All ready to race?”

I laugh into the table, “Nope. I just get slower and slower and keep gaining weight.”

Apparently THAT was an invitation to sell me on a weight loss/cleanse/crap product that he sells.

I’ve noticed the bottles and bars on the receptionist’s counter, always giggling when I saw them thinking they really didn’t belong in an office that’s all about natural healing, etc. My chiro is WELL aware of my efforts in weight loss before, my success and my increase in exercise.

But off he went about toxins in my body, my body clinging to waste, making me crave bad foods and putting me on a cycle of yo-yo dieting that these products could cure.

In fact, I could lose up to 15 POUNDS IN NINE DAYS by using these cleansing products and exercising every day.

Uh…are you SURE it’s not the DAILY exercise and the MAJOR restrictions you’re putting on your caloric intake while you’re “cleansing” that are ACTUALLY making the difference?

I don’t drink my food, which is why I will never be a green monster convert, but limiting me to ONE meal a day of around 500 calories and making me just snack on almonds and apples at all other times would be more likely to increase my propensity to binge rather than just watching portions and choosing more whole foods.

I stood there giving him stink eye the whole time with my hands on my hips, but he wouldn’t give up.

 

“because you know, the less weight on your frame, the easier my job is to adjust you and keep you well.”

 

I wonder if his job would be easier with my foot up his…

Or perhaps I should just cleanse myself of him.

Do NOT judge a container by its colour

ALWAYS read what's on the container.

ALWAYS!!

You could REALLY mess up your oatmeal.

Just sayin'.

Another day, another bit older

Wishing my lil bro (and your bf) Jainey a Happy 28th Birthday today.

Enjoy the cake that Jimmy made you, the oreo cheesecake (picture above) that I made you (that I’m sure Kathleen will GLADLY help you with when she’s back home) and lots & lots of chips! :P

Love, your favourite sister.

♥

It was the fear that made me odd…

But not having a fear of the quiet made me fat.

Most of the time Jillian Michaels makes me roll my eyes. I’ll still listen to her Sunday show but usually feel like I’ve heard it all before somewhere but she makes it more palatable for mass consumption with her “rockstar” status.

But I digress…

A couple of weeks ago she talked about someone not taking training breaks for the fear of the quiet and still. They push through pain and make themselves busy to avoid the thoughts that come up when we’re all by ourselves.

And I got it.

Loud and clear.

It was THAT fear that I lost awhile ago.

I went from the busy to the quiet and got REALLY comfortable. I was surrounded by people, activities, and noise where I was happy and healthy. But then I burrowed down in my solitary life with just my thoughts to keep me company.

But the weight has joined that party too.

I NEED to realize I can’t be to myself all of the time. I mean, I can, but I should get out into society and do my thing, even if it’s all by myself.

Existing beyond the walls of my apartment are key. I need to put one foot in front of the other and go.

Sure, it’s all obvious, but it is what got me here. Sitting here and reading, not running. Watching tv rather than weight training.

It DOES add up.

I just have to do the subtraction now.

But first, I need to add pants.

Amy made me do it