9/29/09

Give up the giving up

I give up pretty easily.

Heck!  A LOT of people do (if I’m going down on this sinking ship, I’m taking all of you with me!!!).

We make excuses as to why we can’t do things, talk ourselves out of simple tasks out of laziness or fear, and choose the easiest route to what we think will make us happy.

I did just that in my half marathon on Sunday. I was humming along, running in front of the 2:15 pace bunny and completely on track for a good race. I was feeling great despite the humid, damp air and lack of sunshine. But then I got to 13km (the turn around back to the finish) and thought, “I’ve made it this far and have done well, I can just run at whatever pace I want to now and just complete the race.”

The pace bunny and his gaggle of followers then moved in front of me and slowly became a dot in the distance.

But why? There was nothing wrong with me. No stitch in my side, no soreness in my knees, no difficulty breathing – I just lost my focus. Odd considering the finish line was getting closer and closer with every step.

But it translates into every aspect of my life. I think that I’ve not only lost focus on the finish line, but the end point to all of my goals. I’m so distracted and down on myself that I am giving up on things that I know I can do and that I can do well. From the half-ass posting here, the never ending “last suppers” before getting back on track with WW or quitting a run 2km before a finish.

Sure, circumstances in my life have me at a really low point right now, but NOT dwelling on them or letting them control my life is the only way to crawl out of the hole. Quitting on goals and myself will only keep me right where I am. There’s no point in climbing half way up a mountain, is there? There’s no glory in that.

I have a lot of positive things in my life and there are a lot of high points, I’m just choosing to focus on the negative for some odd reason. Misery loves company, right?

But you don’t have to hit rock bottom before you can climb back up to the top. Realizing WHY you do things instead of focusing on the things that can hold you back will help correct behaviours, resolve problems and move you forward.

Now, if I had spent the 2:23 that I spent running on Sunday thinking about THAT instead of all of the negative self-talk (and day-dreaming about brunch), I’d be much further ahead today, now wouldn’t I?

11 comments:

Maria said...

Thinking of you, Mouse.

You're smart and lovely and things will work out. Really.

<3

Laura said...

Running is soooo hard...your mind can wander, and that can take you right out of the game! Sorry you struggled...but your time is a good one, and you did finish...

Keep positive.

Hang in there!

Brooke said...

I SOOOOO needed that post. I, too, am at a point in my journey that is excruciating. I feel stuck and discouraged instead of feeling motivated because of what I've actually accomplished. I've lost that focus. I'm going to keep checking in to see how you get out of this "trap" mouse!! Thanks for the post. You've got my voice cheering for you.

Jen said...

I completely agree with you!!!

The next time you feel like giving up, let me know, I will fly out there and kick your cute little butt!!! *smooches*

Sonya said...

You're spot on with all of this.

Funny thing is, you just wrote about running a 1/2 marathon. A HALF marathon! Just like that. Not everyone can accomplish something that huge. I'm struggling with training for a little 5K.

So congratulations on your time. Could you have pushed yourself harder? Maybe. But you crossed that finish line, and that's what counts. You'll cross the finish line on many other endeavours too.;-)

Tamara said...

This is a crazy good example of how we can get so down on ourselves we can't see the great things we do every day. You ran a half marathon. There are a lot of people in the world that would never consider for one second doing a half marathon. And I'm pretty sure if they did, and were blogging about it, they wouldn't start their post with "I give up pretty easily"....

I ran a 10k on Saturday and I guarantee you I wasn't day dreaming about brunch. I was wondering how the hell I ever thought running for over an hour was a good idea.

You've accomplished so much and you have it in you to do so much more. You're human, not perfect.

CONGRATULATIONS on the 1/2! I hope you celebrated at least a little bit!

eurydice said...

i think that anyone who finishes a half-marathon in ANYTIME is a superstar. i wonder what you can do to get your motivation up? i'll think about it.

marie said...

@laura - that's the odd thing. I didn't "struggle."
It's just as if I realized I've been there, done that and already had two tshirts to prove it. Why do I bother to pay an entry fee if I'm just going to make it a Sunday run?

I appreciate that I did what a lot of people can't do or aspire to do, but *I* know that it was NOWHERE near my best, and it could have been closer IF I TRIED.

@eurydice I think that a lack of motivation is my problem for sure. I need to find some runspiration.

Angie All The Way said...

I feel this way too, I really really do. The last few weeks it hasn't been so bad, but that's how I've felt for the last YEAR (or more) and the short little burst of focus just don't cut it.

I wonder if you decide to do a run for a specific cause or purpose (person) (other than the event cause) that can give you something else to help you push yourself to the level that you know you are capable of doing.

You know that you are worth the push to the finish!

Crabby McSlacker said...

Sorry you're hitting a rough patch, but it sure sounds like you're taking the right approach and refocusing on your priorities.

I think everyone has times where motivation fails; you are the last person I ever think of as "giving up!"

Laura said...

This is my biggest goal for my upcoming race..not letting the 'oh well' get to me. I feel like I have conquered this as far as food/training has done but when push comes to shove I can give up.. I know what I realistically can do in training so I am going to stick to it and up the ante as well.
As it has been said, run the race in 3 parts:
1st: with your head
2nd: with your legs
3rd: with your heart
Why is the heart the hardest part?

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