7/15/09

Seen & Heard

Who: Me, of course
When: Friday @5:30ish
Where: My chiro’s office in the beach(es)
What: was I doing? getting my back cracked and my knee looked at. He knows it sometimes bugs me when I run.

Why… he felt the need to give me advice on my weight is BEYOND me.

See, my crazy chiro (who I know I have mentioned a couple of times before) likes knowing when I’m doing a big run, mostly so he can check on my knees.

“You had a race scheduled for just after you saw me last, right?”

I reply that I didn’t but I did have one coming up this week (UGH).

“Oh! Good. Have you been training? All ready to race?”

I laugh into the table, “Nope. I just get slower and slower and keep gaining weight.”

Apparently THAT was an invitation to sell me on a weight loss/cleanse/crap product that he sells.

I’ve noticed the bottles and bars on the receptionist’s counter, always giggling when I saw them thinking they really didn’t belong in an office that’s all about natural healing, etc. My chiro is WELL aware of my efforts in weight loss before, my success and my increase in exercise.

But off he went about toxins in my body, my body clinging to waste, making me crave bad foods and putting me on a cycle of yo-yo dieting that these products could cure.

In fact, I could lose up to 15 POUNDS IN NINE DAYS by using these cleansing products and exercising every day.

Uh…are you SURE it’s not the DAILY exercise and the MAJOR restrictions you’re putting on your caloric intake while you’re “cleansing” that are ACTUALLY making the difference?

I don’t drink my food, which is why I will never be a green monster convert, but limiting me to ONE meal a day of around 500 calories and making me just snack on almonds and apples at all other times would be more likely to increase my propensity to binge rather than just watching portions and choosing more whole foods.

I stood there giving him stink eye the whole time with my hands on my hips, but he wouldn’t give up.

 

“because you know, the less weight on your frame, the easier my job is to adjust you and keep you well.”

 

I wonder if his job would be easier with my foot up his…

Or perhaps I should just cleanse myself of him.

21 comments:

Vanessa (Last Night's Leftovers) said...

Ugh.

Nia a.k.a. Genea said...

These quick fixes are really starting to annoy me! What's wrong with people?!

Heather said...

Riiiight....and what about the part that as soon as you are finished this "miracle detox" diet that you gain back what you lost in half the time when you go back to eating real food again. What an ass

marie said...

It will work because I won't crave it anymore.

Um, last time I checked, I don't have to crave anything to shove copious amounts of junk into my mouth.

It's a beahviour thing. Will it "cleanse" me of bad behaviours? DOUBT it.

Sarah said...

Totally agree. I can't get on the green monster train because I really like chewing my food - much more satisfying for me.

And cleansings scare me. Do you have to like, book a vacation to spend in the bathroom while it's happening? Uggh...

Jaime (Embracing Balance) said...

That's so weird. My chiro sells that stuff too. Thankfully he only pushed it on me once at the intro session and never mentioned it again, cuz I'd probably change chiros.

H-woman said...

Does the chiro help your knee? Mine's been giving me grief lately and I'm not sure if it's IT band or patellar whatever it's called.

There's a chiro in my massage therapist's clinic...they have many detox type things there, too. Thankfully, my RMT is all about activity and healthy food and has never said boo about the pills.

H =)

Lainey said...

Ugh! I hate it when people do that crap! Makes me want to smack them. My dad actually sells something called Isagenix, and he hasn't for awhile but he used to go into his spiel at me at the slightest provocation. And yes, I wanted to smack him, too. He tried to tell me it was a complete food, so that you don't even need to eat anything else when you take it. Whatever! Ugh. I'll take real food, thanks anyway.

Meanwhile, he ended up in the hospital last summer due to gangrene in his toe from diabetes (and yes, he lost it). Now, he'll mention all the weight he lost and credit the Isagenix, and I'm always like, "No, you dumbass, you lost all that weight because of the diabetes." And then I want to smack him again, but I don't because he's my dad and he's already missing pieces.

marie said...

That's the junk, Lainey!

Tundramunkie said...

bwahahahaaaa! Love the way you think!


Yes, yes, the classic "up to" clause, as in "up to 15 lbs in 9 days" or "up to 70% off" in your favourite store.

Since he's so clearly into alternative remedies, you should demonstrate the benefits of the recently rediscovered foot-up-ass method for adjusting spines. Also works well for adjusting attitudes. :oP

Lainey said...

Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! That's funny! I wondered if that was it!

PS--It tastes like crap. (No, I never bought any). :o)

Lucas said...

I would cleanse that chiro right out of my colon if I were you Mouse. Boo. Hiss. Bad Chiro.

JODI said...

ugh indeed! time to find another chiropractor... anytime a doctor starts to push a product on me, i'm outta there... seriously...

and what do you have against green monster converts? ;)

marie said...

@jodi - nothing against the converts. I said that I don't drink my meals.

Xenia said...

What a douchebucket.

Born to Run said...

Duuuuuuuude, he is an ass.

I wouldn't be going back.

Angie All The Way said...

Holy sweet mother of....

Pfffffffft! You are one of the smart ones, but I bet 75% of the people he rammers that to trust him as a "doctor" and agree to it. That really bothers me! I suppose some people believe in it, but there's so much evidence to the contrary out there! Gah!

marie said...

I REALLY think he was expecting me to go for it just because of my interest in health and weight loss.

Too bad (for him) that I've heard about that bunk before.

Lady G said...

That's scary that someone you trust to look after your body is trying to sell you that stuff!

Anonymous said...

The question is, how can you trust someone with your body when you can't trust their advice? Think about it....

marie said...

And how can I trust someone who can't share their name on a comment?

Think about it...

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