But not having a fear of the quiet made me fat.
Most of the time Jillian Michaels makes me roll my eyes. I’ll still listen to her Sunday show but usually feel like I’ve heard it all before somewhere but she makes it more palatable for mass consumption with her “rockstar” status.
But I digress…
A couple of weeks ago she talked about someone not taking training breaks for the fear of the quiet and still. They push through pain and make themselves busy to avoid the thoughts that come up when we’re all by ourselves.
And I got it.
Loud and clear.
It was THAT fear that I lost awhile ago.
I went from the busy to the quiet and got REALLY comfortable. I was surrounded by people, activities, and noise where I was happy and healthy. But then I burrowed down in my solitary life with just my thoughts to keep me company.
But the weight has joined that party too.
I NEED to realize I can’t be to myself all of the time. I mean, I can, but I should get out into society and do my thing, even if it’s all by myself.
Existing beyond the walls of my apartment are key. I need to put one foot in front of the other and go.
Sure, it’s all obvious, but it is what got me here. Sitting here and reading, not running. Watching tv rather than weight training.
It DOES add up.
I just have to do the subtraction now.
But first, I need to add pants.