2/27/09

You’ll have to excuse me; I’m not at my best

First impressions are always important. ALWAYS. The way in which you shake hands, your hygiene, looking another in the eye, smiling, etc. – they all help in forming someone’s opinion about you within minutes of meeting them. But what if you’re struggling with your self-esteem? You’re busting out of your good suit and just want to hide from the world? What do you do when making a good impression, being self-confident and at the top of your game is SOOOO important but you feel like you want to crawl under a rock for the rest of your life? What do you do to perk yourself up in order to impress a potential employer, love interest or someone new to your social circle? What positive self-talk to you use? Tricks to make yourself feel better? Clothes to hide the fact that you just want to wear jammies? Help a sister out.

13 comments:

Heather said...

I find that comfy fabrics go a long way. Try wearing a cotton denium pant with a cotton blend shirt that had en empire waist (always flattering).

Also go shoe/accessory shopping! That perks me up :)

Deb said...

Fake it till you make it, baybee.

Someone who never met you doesn't have any idea that you are hiding a stain on your shirt, that you ate a pint of ice cream for dinner, or that you haven't cleaned your bathroom for a month. Or whatever - those are just things I've heard of before. No personal experience, ou understand.


So go in there and be who you want to be, be who you wish you were. They don't know any different, and what do you have to lose? Nothing. You already don't work for them/date them/are friends with them. So if it doesn't work out, you will be net zero. I tell myself and anyone who needs a pep talk this, and I think it is genuinely calming. You don't have anything to lose. And if it doesn't work out, you never have to see them again. So good luck with whatever challenge you are facing.

Haley said...

Yep, Deb nailed it.

Visualize yourself as the woman you want to be. Buy something fabulous that fits you and makes you feel rockin'.

I also find singing and dancing to loud music before leaving the house helps get my confidence juices flowing.

Vanessa said...

Fake it til you make it, for sure!

And buy a new suit. :-)

Ash said...

I totally agree with the last few comments. Luckily the people you're meeting can't read your thoughts, so it's all about presentation.

Buy something that you feel FABULOUS in or pull that fab item out from the back of your closet. Something that you feel good in, looks great and fits well.

Smile. Be aware of your posture.

As for positive self talk - I think you need to say whatever works for you. "I'm fantastic" "I can do this" "I am confident" Whether it's a mantra or a combination of words that get you feeling good, say it to yourself as much as possible, but especially before the meeting/interview/whatever.

You can do it

Food Coma said...

I make a mental list of all the things I am lucky to have. I usually start with, I have legs that work, I can see, hear, speak. I can move myself. I can pay my rent. I can make a difference in someones life today, donating money, food, or kind words, I can hold a door open for someone. I am able to work, I am able to learn new things. I have great friends who love me. I'm sure you get my point. Once you start it is almost hard to stop. I do this a lot on those mornings when I don't want to get out of bed, I am lucky to have a body that CAN get out of bed..Right?

JODI said...

i would say to just be yourself because people can sense when you're being genuine or if you're putting them on for the sake of being nice... plus it's always more work in the end... my mantra was always, "either they're going to like me, for me, or they won't - not much i can do about it"... the less you can stress, the better! :)

Sarah said...

I agree with the visualization techniques.

Wear the outfit you are most comfortable in.

Put a little extra effort into makeup, hair and accessories to make you feel done up and special.

Make yourself believe you're beautiful.

But, more importantly, show your personality and confidence. Think about how when you meet someone, the way they carry themselves and act means so much more and makes so much more of an impact than how they look.

People will be impressed by you because you ARE YOU and you exude strength, confidence and beauty.

Shirls said...

ever heard this before? "fake it and until you believe it"? I know it sounds corny, but get dressed, take time with the hair, make-up, even if your not feeling it and then its all about telling yourself only the good, and eventually you will believe it and once you believe, you do whatever it takes to keep feeling it...

and that first impression, will be a good one, cause showing, protraying confidence always shines through

Jen said...

I agree with everyone else about faking it...

I always wear something extra special...seriously, even if it's my red-polka dot boy short underwear...they can make me happy (or carry a seriously fabulous bag! whatever). Then just before you are going to meet them, think of something that makes you happy...you will greet them with a genuine smile and exude a happy energy!

ALSO, shake hands like a man...I hate women with weak handshakes!!

Jen said...

I agree with everyone else about faking it...

I always wear something extra special...seriously, even if it's my red-polka dot boy short underwear...they can make me happy (or carry a seriously fabulous bag! whatever). Then just before you are going to meet them, think of something that makes you happy...you will greet them with a genuine smile and exude a happy energy!

ALSO, shake hands like a man...I hate women with weak handshakes!!

Jen said...

oops....

Anonymous said...

This is a tough one, I hear your cry, I'm in the same boat. Fake it till you make it is a good mantra but for me at the moment I can't even fake it. It takes everything and I mean everything just to get out of bed. Then to worry about showering, what to wear etc. is overwhelming. All I can suggest is breath in and out, put one foot in front of the other and ask God to help you carry the load. Accept where you are, then you can start deal with it.

Mojo

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