Looking Back and Moving Forward

I know I'm late to the party but there were circumstances beyond my control.
I'm taking things day by day but am TRULY still a mess on the inside.
But it's the time of year where people reevaluate life; look at what they've done well and where they can make improvements.
It's also time to see how I did with last year's resolutions.
So in short, still in debt, crappy at journaling, gained weight back, still no license and I dress like a slob on Fridays.
But I did move out on my own, found a new job, read a lot more (thanks to commuting) and gained a lot of independence (and perspective).
This year I have one goal.
I need to get back to goal.
This time it will be a slower process, I'm sure. I'm in such a rut that I need to heal myself first before I can lick the weight loss thing....again.
But it will come, I am sure.
I have a whole year, after all :)


Vickie said...

I went back and read some of your earliest postings (on this blog - don't know if there were more somewhere else) last week.

It started as a hunt for migraine information. You and I share a lot of the same triggers and I wanted to re-read what you had written.

and then as long as I was there - I re-read all sorts of posts and really enjoyed them.

I found them very motivating.

And in reading, I also realized that I have gotten sloppy about reexamining my exercise in maintenance.

In my loss mode - I reevaluated every quarter.

Now, not so much.

I am still doing exercise - but I stopped looking at what my invested time was actually doing for me.

In other words -
am I just moving my body through the air? -
or am I really working?

so that is my new year's perspective - looking at my classes and activities and making better choices this quarter.

and I wrote a note to myself to pop up as a blog posting in March - to look again - what do I want?, what am I doing?, is what I am doing getting me what I want?

One of my favorite quotes:
"A journey of a thousand miles starts in front of your feet."
Lao-tzo Father of Taoism
(or downward, depending on which way you want to look at it)

Jess' s Food Coma said...

There is no doubt in my mind that you can do it!

Vanessa said...

You can do it!!!

Jen said...

Oh Mouse *hugs*

I can't think of a better time for you to re-evaluate...take some time to focus on YOU!!!

You have accomplished SO much this year and I am happy to see that you aren't just tossing that aside!!

Take time, you CAN do it, and you have a lot of people alongside you who are here to support you!

Nancy said...

You're still incredibly inspirational!

Angie All The Way said...

This makes me feel so sad :-( You will get there again Mouse when you're good and ready to. I know that that's who you are, so it's inevitable that you'll get there again.

Espressomama said...

Make time your friend, and just take it day by day. You will get there. You know you have loads of friends to call on.

Mel @ A Box of Chocolates said...

You can do it girlie! I'm glad that you are taking the time to re-evaluate and think about you. You dit it before and you can do it again. I agree that it may be slower, but you will do it. I'll be here to follow (and kick your butt when necessary) you on your journey!!

Michelle said...

Sounds like it's been a tough close to '08. It's nice you're welcoming in '09 with some resolve to do what needs to be done. Don't be too hard on yourself, it doesn't make things any easier. Take care.

Sara said...

I think you did amazing this year with your goals. Sure some things didn't happen. But the moving out on your own and getting a new job (more like leaving a family company - very very difficult) are super huge things to accomplish. Plus when you change a big part of life sometimes other things fall to the wayside. But those were changes that needed to get done (esp the job - remember how unhappy you were!!).

You have had a horrible loss but time will heal. It gets easier. What I have found with myself is that the pain is still there and can move myself to tears real fast but it is just not at the forefront of my thoughts. I guess what I'm trying to say (not very good at writing like you) is to feel the pain. Feel it and learn from it. And take the time. Just b/c everyone thinks you should be okay doesn't mean it is wrong that you aren't.

umm, so I rambled and don't really know how to end it. I guess with a bug hug! *hugs*

Xenia said...

You can do it, for sure. I'll be supporting you all the way.

anna said...

a lot changed for you last year...so take it easy on yourself. i will be looking forward to your healing this year because sometimes i just need to read your posts to gain real perspective.

good luck!!

Sonya said...

Hey there, I'm back and reading. I can completely relate with how you are feeling. I too need to heal the inside before I can lick this weight thing. Thank God for therapy!

I'm starting to realize that it's not just about weight loss. It's simply about being happy with ones self.

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