9/12/08

Go With Your Gut

Everyone has a few goals in life. Earn a degree, own a home, find a career they're passionate about, perhaps get married and pop out little people, save the world's cheese from listeria... We all have had goals of losing substantial amounts of weight for health or vanity reasons. For me, it was about my health over *looking* a certain way. And then an adorable little birdie asked me a question the other day about why, if I was upset over the melted wax like appearance of my gut, would I not get plastic surgery done.... The short and the long of it is that I would KILL for abdominoplasty but there are other things on my list of to dos that come first. Now, there are a couple of notable success stories who have come SO FAR in weight loss and have had the aprons on their abdomens removed. I am always insanely jealous of them. But they're in different positions in their lives that they could either afford to do it or have the support of significant others and their families in order to do it. Although I dream about this often, I am not in the right place in my life to do so. Money is a key factor, of course. I would much prefer to own a home before getting my extra folds lopped off. Right now, my job situation affects my ability to purchase a place, but I would much rather keep the money where it is and continue to let it grow rather than spending it on a surgery. Plus, I do want to have children one day. To go ahead now and get it done NOW, I feel as though I may be disappointed AGAIN with my belly after it's been stretched out to accommodate munchkins. I think my displeasure with my stomach comes and goes with my happiness with my scale. When my scale gives me good numbers...frig - who am I kidding? I'm the one REALLY in control of the numbers! Rather, when I'm eating well and feeling good, I am NOT focused on my belly. It's only in times where I know I've been slipping that I truly HATE it. Some days I have lower self-esteem and a poorer self image than others, that's all. But it's really my own making. Only I can choose my destiny and I have a lot that I have to accomplish before having a flatter stomach. A positive self-image can't be purchased. I really have to rock what I've got. And one day...if I can...I'll aim for a little less of it.

14 comments:

Angie All The Way said...

I feel the same way for the most part. Although mine also extends to my inner thighs and upper arms. The same is true for me in that I hope to have kiddies one day and if I ever do get to the place where surgery is a realistic option, it would be after I'm finished putting my body through the crazy tranformations that I'm only half way finished going through.

I understand the disappointment to see those things remain even though we fit in smaller sizes. I think it's because we know that that part is out of our control. Even though we are the ones who only notice, it sucks.

Shirls said...

I totally believe that self confidence is not something that is purchaseable (if thats a word) and I also totally agree that some other things in life have to take priority at different times. Trust me, if it weren't for the spot I was in at the time, it wouldn't have been on my list of able to do right now either, without hubby and mum to help me out, without this great job of mine, without my great friends and support system it just wouldn't have all come together like it did, I was just over the top darn lucky. But if I still had dreams of home purchases and babies it would have been on the back burner for me, no question about it :0)

marie said...

@Angie - I have fly away arms and legs too, but the scars those leave are ridiculous. I've learned to love my big thighs and chicken wings.

@Shirls - that's why I wrote about the support system and station in life. YOU have all of that and it made the process perfect for you :)

Haley said...

Great post! It really is a bummer that after all the hard work and sacrifice and sweat, the remnants of what we did to our bodies before our healthy lifestyle remain.

For me, it's all the stretch marks -- on good days, they feel like battle scars in a war I'm winning,on bad days they just annoy the frig out of me...and make me reek of self tanner.

Jen said...

♥♥♥♥♥

SERIOUSLY ♥

I almost ALWAYS think about the loose skin and the flabby spots...and I am SOOOOO guilty of sometimes just wanting to look "hot" (though I do realize that this can happen with a little flab and loose skin)...those are the really bad days...

But then I think I think about all the things I want/need to do first and they trump ALL the plastic surgery in the world...I have looked at wonderful surgery success stories (Shirls) and horrible botch jobs (my mom, 4 months STILL not healed) and it definitely makes me realize what will make me happy RIGHT now...and what I can look forward to in the future (when I am surrounded by kiddies and can afford it!)

Espressomama said...

Believe me, munchkins wreak havoc on your body. However, the aprons and stretch marks and bat wings are also the life scars we carry that have helped make us who we are.

I have always said I would love to have a tummy tuck and boob job and get the deflated double chins lopped off if I managed to keep my weight off for a long enough period of time. It is not economically feasible for me to do it, and I'm not sure I really would. The excess skin on my tummy is from yo yo dieting and 2 pregnancies, and is like a badge I can wear to reflect those great character building exercises (although the loose skin under my chin makes me absolutely nuts!!!)

However, don't think I am not totally jealous of those who have a flat tummy and have been able to have their aprons removed. In this life you have to do what you can to get to the end in a healthy, happy place.

Lucas said...

As a little birdie (thanks for the adorable) who doesn't have kids by choice, I always forget about that part of the scenario. Your post definately gave me some insight into your plight and I appreciate that. I was so worried that I would offend you with that comment but that doesn't seem to be the case (or shall I add obtuse to my long list of faults?) In the end, we all have our own internal struggles about what we can accept about ourselves and what we'd still like to improve. I find it odd how somedays, 175 on the scale is fan-freaking-tastic and other days it's utterly devastating. Getting my insides to be happy with my outsides has been the biggest challenge ever. It's something I will work on for the rest of my life, I'd suspect. Anyway, thanks for your response and your blog and your support. It's because of people like you that I've made as much progress as I have.

marie said...

@lucas - I wasn't offended at all. I'm of the opinion that people need to get up and change things rather than bitching and moaning about their station in life all of the time.

It is something I *could* change, but I'd rather be in a position where I know I won't fuck up my future and not feel like I've wasted money down the road.

I totally appreciate you having the courage to ask me :)

Twisted Cinderella said...

Ever since I had my older daughter, I have had an area of my stomach that was all stretched out. Even after I lost 70 lbs and was 49 lbs below my pre-pregnancy weight it still looked all stretched out an yucky. I would love to have it fixed some day, but I doubt money will let that happen.

Twisted Cinderella said...

Oh and I meant to add, I totally agree with your entire post.

http://pitterpatteroflosingpounds.blogspot.com/

Michelle said...

Ain't that the truth!

Shrunk said...

I definitey think you should hang tight if you plan on having children. I know that in my own personal experience, having kids messed with my tummy more than gaining and losing 140 lbs. I too am insanely jealous of people who are in the position that they can get a tummy tuck. I dream of it. Maybe one day!

MizFit said...

and then so often once you have the kids you find it's all important---but maybe not as much any more? that the stretchmarks are more badges of honor?


LOVE the rock what youve got sentiment.

Miz.

anna said...

while popping out little people is my current status...i can relate to wanting a little less gut. -]d sometimes my love for cheese keeps me from my ultimate confidence.

word sister.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Canada License. Loaded Web - Global Blog & Business Directory