7/22/08

I NEED to do something about it

Do you ever have people say that to you? A coworker? A loved one? A friend? A random acquaintance who gets told your story and wants to follow your lead? Yes, I know I'm asking probably the DUMBEST question known to (wo)man because I know that you get asked that. Too many times a day than you care to count as well. But how do you respond? Do you bring them copies of weight watchers materials? Lend them a copy of the book that has the plan you're currently following whether it be cheat to lose or body for life? Send them links to awesome weight training sites like stumptuous or tell them to pick up something fluffier like shape (gag)? But do you ever feel sad, responsible, disappointed when they still give you the same line months later? Do you still help them again? Or do you feel like it's a broken record that you're just tired of hearing? When do you turn it off? Or are you always willing to help?

16 comments:

Bi0nicw0man said...

Depends on who it is unfortunately.

With my Mom, I'm always trying to help her out...and she's receptive to it.

With DBF, he moans and groans about his weight, but won't listen to a freaking word I have to say because he thinks he knows better (mhmmm...which is why I lost weight and he gained it...but whatever...).

With friends it depends how serious they are. If they truly tried and failed then I'm supportive. If they half-assed it and then gave up, then I tend to stay out of it.

Sara said...

You know how many times people have said that to me and I've talked weight wathchers or exercise and how they get just a little bit mad at me like that wasn't what I was supposed to say like maybe they just wanted me to tell them "no you don't, you look great as you are".

I don't say much anymore. Just tell them my story and let them ask me the questions.

MizFit said...

and that is PRECISELY what I initially started MizFit.

I was so sucked dry by those people that I just wanted a place to say:

LOOK HERE.


:)

Jen said...

I am always willing to help....ONCE!

I was helping a girl a while back with WW and it got to the point where I was printing out recipes and almost making meal plans for her. She would write me weekly saying "I WANT THIS SO BAD" "I JUST WANT TO BE SKINNY" and I would reply that was the only thing I COULDN"T help her with...

You can give them the tools, you can teach them how to use them, but you can't MAKE them do anything...

Espressomama said...

I tend to be willing to answer questions and be a resource. When I'm on, I also try to be an example, more than anything else. Unfotunately, right now I need to be a better example and resource to myself, LOL!

P.O.M. said...

Ohhh that's a good one. I always take the bait AT FIRST. But I do give up quickly if I see that they are not serious.

My coworker had some serious cholesteral problems. We talked about diet and exercise at length. I even gave her a list of "no no" foods. The next day, she showed up with a huge plate of cheese enchaladas and crappy food. I gave up on her quickly.

P.O.M. said...

PS: I've tried with my mom over and over and over. And I won't give up on her (even thought deep down I know it's a lost cause).

Anonymous said...

Don't ever turn it off or stop helping when asked. For myself I consider it a privilege if I can help in any little way. Whether it be through success' or failures, for me life is not about how or when I help others, it's about being willing to help, regardless of the cost to me.

Mojo

Claire said...

If I ever get there, I will tell people, "You have to find what works for you. Generally, smaller portion sizes and exercise will do the trick."

For me, the more people do FOR me, the less I do for myself, and the less success I have. It has to come from me, and me only.

TrixieBelden said...

I tend to try to be supportive of the little things that friends say when they want to get healthy - like when they tell me about a new exercise plan they are starting i am really supportive in the initial conversation. but, i never ask about it again because i don't want them to feel pressure. i figure my role is to be their friend, not their weight watcher's meeting leader. sometimes i toss in a little advice when i think i can give them some wisdom, but i never like put a plan together for them because i've realized what works for me, may not work for someone else. but i never give up on people. i'm always willing to listen. but then again, i'm talking about people i geniunely like, not annoying co-workers :)

i agree with whoever posted that the more you do for someone, the less they will do for themselves. i figure, in the end, it is all up to them, so the only thing i can do is be positive about it.

p.s. an old friend i haven't seen since before my weight loss said the nicest thing to me tonight... she said i looked healthy! she's like the only person except my mom to put it that way. most people say something like "you look great" (which is nice to hear, but makes me uncomfortable.) i like that my friend made it about being healthy, regardless of whether or not i was a sweaty mess tonight in the crazy humidity :)

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

I am SO there with a girlfriend that I started weight watchers with. 18 months later, she's gained 20 and I've lost 50... and it's the same story every week. I always feel sympathetic though, because I spent 10 years in "I'm starting on Monday" mode.

Shrunk said...

I am pretty good with helping people, even the ones I know are a lost cause :O)

thewwchick said...

Try being a WW leader!!!!!!! lol Love your blog, by the way. I've never commented before, but I read all of your posts. :)

Candace MacPherson said...

OK, here's something. In 2002 I met a lady who started with Weight Watchers and Curves. I decided to join Curves to get my, then only slightly, weight gain under control. Yeah - didn't go so well.

Fast forward to spring 2007 when I run into this lady again. "Wow, you look great. Are you still going to Curves?" "Yes, and I am now a WW leader for At Work Programs." Picture me totally discounting all of this, but being jealous of her progress. A month later I met up with another lady who I'd seen walking up and down the highway. "Wow, you look great. All that walking has paid off." "Oh, the walking and I joined Weight Watchers last year. You have to have both."

A week later...light bulb moment. A year later...hubby is drooling - over ME:)

Say it. Let them get it when they're ready.

Randi said...

It completely drives me crazy. I'm pretty sure every single person in the world KNOWS what to do to lose weight (generally): eat less, move more. But then people get caught up in what they think are quicker fixes or "easier" ways such as low carb or no eating after 6 or cheat days where you can go nuts (not saying I don't follow these things too! I'm just saying they aren't what make you lose weight). Plus the info is so readily accessible to anyone (even SHAPE tells you to lift weights, yes lame soup cans or something, and gives healthy recipes or whatever) that saying they don't know what to do is a big cop out. knowing and doing is the difference, and it's not something that anybody else can help with.

marie said...

I don't want anyone to misunderstand and think that I'm giving up on anyone.

I just wanted perspective.

And I love the responses :)

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