7/15/08

Growing into your skin

So I'm two days short of Goal-a-versary and I'm standing there, evaluating my body this morning for signs of...hell, I have no clue, progress in the last two years. Little to none, really. Status quo, my friends. But that, in itself, IS success. Big freakin' deal that I'm not the 135 I was a year or so ago. WHOOPDEE freakin doodle that I will never have a flat stomach. WAH WAH WAH that my scale will never see 120 unless I put my two nieces and some weights on it. I. Am. Ok. With. IT. Why, might you ask? I have realized that I just might FINALLY be comfortable with my body. Well, maybe...a little. Sure, I hate the cellulite on my legs and the flap on my belly, but it's fine, really, it is. I know I sit there and blather on and on and freakin on until the cows come home about how I'm healthy now and can do this and that and that I should be thankful for that, but I think I was blowing a little bit of smoke before. I think it was more positive talk before to help me get through things and not hate myself, which really helped. But the true test was that I finally felt comfortable with a guy. Granted, not like I was hanging out in my birthday suit or anything (not that you need to know the intimate details of my life, ya bunch of pervs), but I felt as though I am accepted for every bit of cottage and extra skin on my body FOR ONCE! Because it's all that I SEE and not what HE SEES. Perspectives sure are funny things.... But it's a nice feeling...and one that hopefully stays around for awhile. Everyone should feel good in their own skin. No matter how much extra skin you're carrying around ;)

15 comments:

JODI said...

amen to that, sister... i met my boyfriend over 3 years ago and i was also almost 30 pounds heavier... sure, i would've loved to have lost weight before meeting someone new but sometimes - life is just funny that way... :o)

congrats on almost anniversary and for keeping the weight off... it's a great thing to accept yourself AS YOU ARE because life is just easier after that... we all have flaws and we are not perfect so i think your attitude it dead-on... this is why i stopped doing WW because i like who i am and who i've become... :o)

Patricia said...

Good for you, feeling comfortable with yourself and likeing who are are! You may not be 135, but remember, most people who have lost the amount of weight you have...don't keep it off! you've done amazing to stay in the range of your goal weight and to keep yourself motivated to be there!

Amy said...

WHO IS THIS BOY?

I want scoop... pronto!

marie said...

muaahahhahahah - I'm so sneaky :P

You'll find out soon enough. This one is sticking around for awhile.

Jen said...

I totally want all the pervy details...um, okay, not the pervy ones, but details nonetheless!!!

Guys don't seem to notice ANY of our flaws...it's kind of nuts because all I see is flabby skin (ON ME!) and Danny says all he sees it "hotness"...gotta love em!!!

I love this happy, comfortable Mouse who FINALLY sees what the rest of us do!!!

Espressomama said...

Yeah Mouse! I did a little cheer for you. Dh has seen me through a 60+ weight range (up and down and up and down - you get the idea). He doesn't seem to notice the lumps and bumps, just that it is me. I wish I could see myself that way, but I'm working on it.

However, I agree we need more pervy details!

Sara said...

First - OH MY GOD I can't wait to hear more about the boy. Esp one sticking around. Boy he is lucky!

Second - boys are awesome in that when they see you naked they think sexy times not ew yuck.

Third - I love this post. The best thing about getting older I find is the acceptance that comes with it. I remember reading about it but never believing it, but now that it is happening to me (esp with the flat stomach and perky boobs and inner thighs that don't touch things) I realize that it is so so true!

TrixieBelden said...

I know what you mean about growing into your skin. It is hard to stop judging ourselves, even after the big losses. I'm really happy you are finding peace with your body. That is important. sooo important.

I am so excited for your goal-a-versary. You should feel so proud! Two Years! I hope to be in your shoes one day in the future. Actually, I don't hope, I work at it! every day! I will be in your shoes some day! :)

And as for this boy ... you sly little minx ... you need to at least tell us where he came from! (Sorry I haven't been around for a while, so I don't know if there have been hints before!)

Oh, and last, but not least, thanks so much for the shout out a couple of posts ago. That meant a lot to me.

jainey said...

for reals. she's sneaky about the boys.

mind you, so am i... it's just how we roll.

werrrrrk.

stephanie said...

Congratulations on almost 2 years. been readig your blog for a bit. From toronto also....

Still trying to get the last 10 pounds off. So hard to be motivated!!

Shirls said...

Go Mouse, Go Mouse!

MizFit said...

man you are SO RIGHT.

thats my goal with my Toddler.
if I teach her nothing at least to teach her how to be comfy in her own skin (or skinsuit as she calls it ;))

MizFit

Mel @ A Box of Chocolates said...

YEAH!! I'm so glad that you can look at yourself and like what you see. You have worked incredibly hard to lose the weight and it is time you recognize that. Perspective is tricky as what we see is not always what is so. I think one reason that I took a break was because I found myself getting comfortable with my body and was pleased with how I looked. I'm now ready to go back into losing mode for my last 20 pounds as I adjusted to my "new" weight. Thanks for making me take a closer look at myself and think about what I want!

Angie All The Way said...

What an awesome post :) Truly awesome :)

anna said...

WORD sister! i feel you on this one!

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