5/28/08

MEMErrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiies

These games are so like broken telemaphone. From seven to five. Whatevs. Today's comes courtesy of my favourite Tdot export to Montreal, Laura, who is kickass because she knits, loves the habs, is a voracious reader (being a librarian and all) and rides her bicycle like a fiend! Go read her blog. NOW! So rules, tag, blah blah... But you know me - we need a theme....

Meme has me singing that damn Streisand song. I thought about this blog for a few days. I've been having a rough week and feeling out of sorts. Today it hit me - I'm out of touch with what brought me here. So I'm going to go back and remember five painful parts of being the bigger version of Marie E. Mouse. It's not glorious or fun, but I need it because I'm not in a good place right now. My apologies to those who are close to me who choose to read on.

  1. I think I may have mentioned this a long time ago, and I know some other bloggers have mentioned it before (without naming them), but I used to get these horrible wet rashes on the underside of my belly flap. I was always *too* warm and that area was the same. It couldn't breathe all of the time and sweat would just sit there, irritating my skin. It actually still happens to this day, but only when I'm stressed out, because I don't sweat that much anymore.
  2. I used to wear out the inner legs of my pants within a few months. I was constantly buying new pants or sewing in patches in the seat area to extend the life of a pair of pants. My legs rubbed together so closely that the material of pants would just wear out. Luckily, my mother taught me how to sew and I could do it all myself without having to go to her and embarrass myself much...but she knew anyway.
  3. For the same reason I hated wearing skirts. The sweat factor + rubbing = burning, rashy thighs. I think I single handedly kept gold bond in business through my teenage years and early twenties.
  4. I played hardball as a child with my brothers and cousins. I wasn't good at it, but I wanted to do what THEY were doing. The coaches didn't try to develop me as a player, but rather taught me how to stand there, get hit by a ball to get a base runner and stuck me in right field because there's no action out there. Well, when you get to a higher level, right field is next to the walkway up to the diamond and an exit from the adjacent hockey rink. Kids would stand there and yell at me, telling me I was no good, fat, ugly, etc. Stuff like that tends to stick with you.
  5. I had a Girl Guide camping trip when I was about 12 in the winter. I needed snow pants or something to cover my pants so they wouldn't get wet when we went out on hikes (we were staying in a chalet). I so desperately wanted the plastic pant type things that were all the rage then instead of bulky snow pants. I tried on the largest size in the fitting room but couldn't get them on. I came out and told my mom that they did indeed fit and she bought them. When I got to camp and put them on, I ripped one leg right down the seam. They wouldn't let me go out on any of the hikes because I didn't have the right clothes.

I just have to remember these things and move forward...keep moving forward....

But speaking of forward momentum, check the front page of the Pride Run web site today! It's Jainey over on the right hand side!! He's all excited to be gaymous(e).

And sign up for the damn race if you're going to be in TO on June 28th. It's only 5k, it's cheaper if you join our team, GO SKIRT!, AND you get to hang out with me and my baby bro - WOOT!

Plus it's usually catered, unlike other races that only give you bagels. I love gay events :)

18 comments:

Sara said...

Wow those are some painful memories but some motivational and inspirational ones. I hope that it was therapuetic to post and hope that it helps get you into a good place!!

I wish I was in T.dot for the Pride run - b/c it looks so fun and I would love to be able to run with you (actually I would be running behind, far behind, but that's besides the point!). But I guess I can live vicariously through you and your race report!

Sara said...

Wow those are some painful memories but some motivational and inspirational ones. I hope that it was therapuetic to post and hope that it helps get you into a good place!!

I wish I was in T.dot for the Pride run - b/c it looks so fun and I would love to be able to run with you (actually I would be running behind, far behind, but that's besides the point!). But I guess I can live vicariously through you and your race report!

meredi said...

Oh Mouse, it's hard to remember all that stuff, isn't it? Your snow pants story is particularly heartbreaking, sigh.

I can relate in so many ways... but instead of Gold Bond I relied (and still do, actually) on Spanx-like products. I was hoping I'd be free of that after reaching goal but no luck yet. :( I had to patch my pants all the time too. It's funny, I have two pairs of cheap jeans that I keep wishing would wear out so I'd have an excuse to buy new ones... and it finally occurred to me that they're going to take a ton more time to wear out now. (Dang.)

We've come a long way, babe. It's all worth it, isn't it?

And I would totally come out for the Pride Run but my grandma is ill so I have to go home this weekend. Hope you guys have a ton of fun though :)

MizFit said...

I LOVE THESE BEHIND THE SCENES PEEKS!

thanks!

MizFit

(goldbond :) do they still have the same commercials? those were terrible!)

Randi said...

painful stuff. But it's nice looking BACK at it, instead of being surrounded by it right? Makes me wanna do it too. But unfortunately you don't play these games properly and tag people so I'm left out... ;)

Randi said...

ps - inner thigh chafing (itc) was one of the MAJOR factors in making me want to lose weight. I was sick to death of worn out thighs and having to buy new jeans.

marie said...

oh, it's ON, Randi.

play by your own rules too.

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

Sorry you're in a rough patch! Hope it gets better soon.

Randi said...

I used your theme for mine because that's what inspired me to do it! I was really thinking of how I'm so much happier now than as a kid and all the self esteem issues I had when I was younger. Not all are tied up with weight, but it would be interesting to see how many things would have been different had I been a "skinny" kid. (though of course we wouldn't want that since I turned out so well with all my baggage ;) )

Amy said...

psssssst... iheart you.

anna said...

i have a few of those moments in my memory log too. very painful at times. but nowadays i pretty much just think the people who taunted me were very sad. oh, and i always wore through my pants too. bummer when it happened to my favorite jeans. i never got smart enough to patch the insides! duh! yous a smartie mouse.

Jess' s Food Coma said...

Ha.. Gaymous (e) that was great.

Angie All The Way said...

I can't believe that I actually forgot that I used to sew patches on the inside thighs of my favourite jeans until just now. There's nothing like a great comfy pair of jeans, and when you're bigger, they are harder to come by AND they wear out so much faster than normal. I totally did that too.

I also would get heat rashes etc. on my thighs if I wore a skirt and would sometimes buy those "longer" underwear shorts to wear under them if I had to wear a dress or a skirt. Now a little honey dusting and I'm good to go for the day :-)

I was called "water buffalo" by some mean boys in grade 7 and those same assholes would say it every now and then all the way through junior high and I'll never forget it. It embarrassed me so much that I don't think I've ever even told anyone, not even when talking about mean childhood experiences in conversation.

I never owned a skidoo since I was 10 until I HAD to find snow pants when I was 25 because I was going to Labrador for xmas and I was at my highest weight. I was convinced that I wouldn't be able to find a decent looking suit in my size, but my friend Amy helped me find one, but I ended up looking like a Michelin man.

Okay this ended up being a post of my own!

Laura said...

Lord love a duck. I can relate to so much of what you've written here.

Massive hugs to you!!

P.S. Thanks so much for saying such nice things about me. I don't get described as kickass all that often. I will remember this the next time I get feeling all sorry for myself

I'll be in the Tdot at the end of June but have to come back to the land of real bagels before the 28th. I'll be cheering for you anyway. GO SKIRT!

Xenia said...

I hear you on so much of that. I am only halfway to goal but I can already see how far I've come. So much so that I've started to forget, or at least not remember so clearly, all the crap I went through when I was younger and overweight.

Thanks for helping me regain my perspective.

Have fun in the race!

Jen said...

I agree, sounds like a lot of bad memories (reminded me of some I had too) but amazing "spur you on" kind of memories too...

P.O.M. said...

Sorry ~ I'm really behind.

Wow, look how far you've come. That is something to be really proud of.

Lucas said...

Mouse,
Thanks for sharing those memories. They were raw and beautiful. I hope you are feeling better and back on your game soon. Hang in there.

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