3/3/08

For all the cows


Let's talk calves, shall we?

I loathe mine.

Yes, I do.

Some days I think they look pretty darn fabulous ...well, compared to what they used to, that is.

I like looking at them when I do calf raises at the gym, or when I wear heels and I think they look pretty muscular but slender when they go toward my ankle.

But then I go to, I don't know, let's say...Aldo on a Saturday afternoon with a friend and they're having a sale where it's 50 per cent off of the already sale prices on ALL of the boots.

Yeah, you're damn right I put down my americano and took off my Nikes.

But Houston - we had a problem

NOTHING ever fits beyond HALF way up my leg.

Zipper goes up with ease ...and then stops.

Suddenly my face goes red.

Sales lady comes back, eager to make the sale. "How do they fit, hun?"

*sigh* Had to call me hun, eh?

"Yeah, not happening, sweetie." I can play your game chickiepoo.

"Awwwww - really? What's wrong?" she says in her sickly sweet, sing-songy voice.

"Well do you have ANYTHING in this store that fits fat calves?"

She looks stunned and then looks me up and down a bit and looks back at the wide selection of boots on the wall... she's totally NOT processing the situation.

"Uh..."

"It's ok....I'm used to this happening and I don't need them anyway."

Squishy cow has fat calves too. I bet he feels my pain.

**freakin adorable squishy cow courtesy of Tucows given away at Podcamp

25 comments:

Heather said...

I hear you loud and clear gal..the only boots I have only come half way up my calves b/c full length boots will never fit me...sigh...lol.

Angie All The Way said...

First of all, 99% of the women I know (even the ones who were skinny their entire lives) have problems buying boots at Aldo or Transit with the calve being too small. The only reason why the girl looked stunned is because you're a skinny mini girl and she couldn't believe that the wouldn't zip up by the look of ya - what she didn't know of course is that you're a runner with muscley respectable calves, not thin limp ones! hrmph!

Screw Aldo...they suck!

Randi said...

Sympathize. Highly sympathize.

Amuldoon said...

Amen sista. I remember my Dad was all cute and bought be a pair of fancy boots for x-mas after I had lost the majority of my weight.

Yah.. those boots are still sitting in my closet. I had them stretched, but calf flab hanging over the side of boots is not attractive.... and I didn't even know I had calf flab!

Jen said...

It's s funny because SOOOOO many women can't wear knee high boots...you would THINK they might start to model them differently???

And those who calves are skinny enough to fit in them are sometimes TOO small...or then have the "sloucy ankle" issue...not cool, screw Aldo's sale...the boots are gorgeous, but not worth it until they make them for a REAL woman's calf!!!

Vanessa said...

That sucks, but you're not alone! Even I have difficulty finding boots that zip up more than halfway, and I don't have big calves by any stretch of the imagination. The problem definitely isn't with your calves, it's with the boots!

Jennifer said...

I hear you, Mousie. I have rarely been able to find a pair of ankle boots that fit. I have one pair, and after wearing them for a day, the zipper dug into my leg so hard that I had two identical cuts on both calves. Yep, that was a very painful reminder that I can't wear ankle boots either. :P

Jenn said...

The same exact thing happens to me. I don't have a pair of knee high boots for that exact reason. *sigh*

Anonymous said...

Marie - on an entirely different note, I'll be at the Y&F goodlife at around 5:30pm for a run (slept in this morning). Will I see you around?
Sally

ps. FB msg me if you want to get in touch since my gmail is blocked at work...

marie said...

Sally - No FB at work but I'll be there from 5-6. see you then!

Anonymous said...

The internet gods are conspiring against us! At least we have the comments section.
I'll scurry down at 5pm and hop on a treadmill - perhaps next to you?
What are the workout plans?

Sally

marie said...

run for 30 then lower body free weights. you?

Anonymous said...

depending on how the run is feeling - either 60 min run (ladder - 5 min increments with increasing speeds, 20 min total x 3) OR if the run is feeling cr@p then 30 min run (easier) and back/chest free weights.

s

jodi said...

i discussed my boot-problem late last year and have the same problem - most do not zipper all the way up my calf... i got lucky though and found some at kohl's - they are the stretch type and seem to work very well... i'm not sure i'll ever be able to get leather ones but have seen some stores carry 'wide' versions (very rare though)... keep looking! :o)

Alla (green girl) said...

I have the same problem! and that is why I only have one pair of knee high boots... you just need to find the right ones... for your MUSCULAR calves, not fat! :)

marie said...

I puts the boys to shame, I does :P

Glad to know I'm not alone.

And Jodi - I specifically chose the more synthetic of the bunch, hoping for give. Didn't happen.

Dems de breaks.

I wonder if they make little boots for tiny cows...

Sara said...

I have the problem Jen mentioned. Calves small enough but ankles too small, so knee high boots kinda look like elephant skin. And just so you can hate me a little more - usually boots are too big on me (me ducking from you throwing cow at me).

Hope you can enjoy the warm weather with a run tonight!

marie said...

sara - i would not throw the cow. he's too precious to me.

my friend has the same problem and she fit in EVERY STINKING pair of boots she tried on in the store.

I hate her and love her.

ThickChick said...

Oh man!! That sucks. If it makes you feel *ANY* better, this typically happens to me with pants. ;)

Anonymous said...

To share: boots aren't a problem for me BUT i cannot wear short-sleeved shirts with cuffs. THEY WILL NOT BUTTON UP (over my bulging biceps/fat-a$$ upper arms).
So I hear you, but in a different way.

Anonymous said...

oh, and Marie...that last post was from Anonymous Sally

Anonymous said...

Hi, Marie...love the blog; everyone, I found awesome and super stylish boots at Macy's in NYC and they are Naturalizer - Plus Shaft. They have several styles on the naturalizer website in Canada and I also got another awesome pair on ebay. LOVE wearing my skirts with a nice pair of high heel leather boots with a zipper and no muffin top! Lynne

Shirls said...

I have the same problem, I've decided that I'm taking my calves and wearing them with pride, I'm a runner and I have muscle and I do a lot of amazing things with those muscles and to top that off they should be strutted out there and shown instead of hidden in boots, so little Ms. sunshine aldo can shove it... ;0)

Erin said...

That happens to me too! So I am left with the option of shorter boots (not what I want) or the PVC hooker kind (also not what I want). The last time I tried a pair on that were too small, the sales girl was awesome - she said that she couldn't find any for here calves either. That made it a bit better.

anna said...

me too sister. always have had this problem. i spend A LOT of time looking for tall boots with "extra" extended calves. jcrew sells 'em (for about the price of your first born child) and this year i found a stevemadden style that was just larger. yippee...but i fork out the bucks for 'em. what can i say, i am a slave to fashion?

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