10/31/07

Did I tell you the one about the...

Some days I hate going out of the office. Other days, it’s great because it can land me right in the lap of a loved one. Last week I ended up in the same building as my lovely aunt Mojo, who I decided to harass for an hour (and stop her from working on my brother’s mortgage application …muahahhahahahh). Mojo is awesome and I see a lot of myself in her. We have very similar weight gain stories, have done the WW thing too but she has so much more insight and wisdom about life and all that I haven’t achieved yet. As we’re talking about our bodies as suitcases that we travel in and how some of us are blessed with good ones while others make do with the busted hinges and gaping holes, somehow we got onto the topic of losing friendships over battles with the bulge. Now I’ve lost more than a handful over the last two years and it can be directly related to my weight loss and “attitudes” people just don’t jive with anymore. “Ah Marie – that’s because you’re not the FAT funny girl anymore!” *sigh * Have I mentioned that I love my aunt Mojo? But really - I’m still the same girl I’ve always been with the sarcastic, biting tongue. I’ll tell it like it is, where you can get off and where you can stick it, a lot of the time in a passive aggressive sort of way, but it’s still me. I’ve used humour as a defensive mechanism for so long…frankly, I don’t think I’m that funny but people say I am. But I can be serious when the time is right, I’ll always lend an ear when you need it and a shoulder when you need to bawl your eyes out. I am just as sensitive as anyone else though and will cry when I’m angry or hurt. Just because I’m sarcastic doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings…. But for some strange reason now that I’m the size of carry-on luggage instead of the big-mother loving suitcase, I’ve got big ass attitude that many people don’t care for anymore. BUH? You can’t help but speculate if it is a jealousy or competition thing. Why else would your “attitude”, which hasn’t changed one iota over the past few years, suddenly bother people? It only makes you think that suddenly because you’re attracting attention by walking in a room instead of opening your yap to impress people and be seen. And now when you do make quips, they’re ill received. No longer are you the trusted sidekick/sideshow. No, no. You’re no longer filling an entertainment purpose but instead stealing limelight… Weird because I like hiding behind the curtains, thanks. I’m like in bizarro land over here. On one side the fat girls who get told they have pretty faces and turn into hotties when they lose a few pounds and the funny ones lose their charms and become bitches. I have check marks in both columns. Does that make me a hot bitch?

18 comments:

Sarah said...

You're a SEXY bitch, in every sense of the term :)

I love you, Marie!! :)

Shirls said...

yes and you should be damn proud of it. Saw a t-shirt this past weekend "I'm not a bitch, I'm THE bitch" LOL

honestly, it just makes you real, and your not the only one who has lost some friends along the way, its ok to take me out when I'm the "fat girl" and not taking attention away from the "pretty girl" but when your no longer... well your just no longer wanted, in the end the true friends show what their made of, the others well they just don't rank anymore..

AND Happy BOO Day!

Jen said...

*laughs* you are the carry-on sized hot bitch!!!

I can't even tell you how frustrating that "you have such a pretty face if only..." line is to me!!!!

I saw a lot of similarities between us in your post and it reminded me of a conversation with my "friend" when I started losing weight, she "jokingly" said that if I got "skinny" we couldn't be friends any more because she didn't want to compete with me...because a cute married girl with a personality is competition??

Mary said...

Hmmmn... if your attitude is bigger than you are, people have a problem with it? :)

Sorry. That was my best guess.

marie said...

so when i was fat and it matched it was ok? how is that justified?

Randi said...

I liked this post. Definately something to think about. No it isn't fair but it's not going to be.

And look at you, not only a hot bitch, but funny yet sensitive as well! (Is this a personal ad?) ;)

marie said...

bahahahha - randi, oddly enough I had a blog on yahoo 360 that people treated as a personals ad.

apparently a pic of me licking a giant ice cream cone means "please message me, i need a man."

Sara said...

Hot Bitch - hilarious. Okay I find you to be extremely funny and not with a bad attitude but me and my friends are totally sarcastic people so...

I hear you about losing friends. Since you are no longer the one to make them look better (I had a friend that always made sure to dance beside me in a club, be beside me in pics - I thought it was b/c she loved me, now I realize she was using me to look better - can you believe that!) you are no longer useful to them, and so you are dropped. So sad.

And to think now you are a carry-on, friends should be taking you on the plane, not checking you.

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

Yup, pretty much that's exactly what you are.

Crabby McSlacker said...

Really interesting.

I wonder if people take you more "seriously" now that you are thinner? Don't know if you used to watch the Mary Tyler Moore show, so this may sound stupid, but perhaps people no longer see you as Rhoda Morgenstern (who was the "fat" best friend and could say all the funny stuff), but as Mary Tyler Moore--the "star", who is not just comic relief but is supposed to be a "good" girl and therefore nice all the time.

Or something.

Anyway, screw 'em if they don't like your attitude!

TrixieBelden said...

It's funny b/c usually hot bitches are allowed to act any way they want to b/c they are hot bitches and everyone wants to be around them - guilt by association or attention by association. But, I guess when hot bitches are made not born the rules change. I agree that it lets you know who your true friends really are. Sad, but true. And in the end, while you miss those people who couldn't handle being around you, in some ways I feel like it has got to be some kind of a sense of relief to not be confronted with people who can't accept you for who you are - inside and out.

Bi0nicw0man said...

I don't really have anything to add as most people here have summed it up quite nicely. But yes, you are a hot bitch and we love you that way!!!

Angie All The Way said...

I have been curiously asked twice in the past few weeks if losing the weight has "changed me." My immediate answer wanted to be No, of course not, I'm the same person as I always was. But then the more I thought about it, I hasted to admit that it DID change me, but not in the way that people would rather perceive it.

I re-vamped the way I think about my health and consequently my life. This is a huge change. I've become more informed AND experienced with the battle that most people CAN'T beat. We've got "street cred" and it bothers people. Their perception of the "change" is directly related to how they feel about themselves and how threatened they are with having the weight loss struggle won right in their face, but out of their reach. Winning the battle gives me confidence to talk about something and give advice in an area that 95% of the people I know WISH they "got it." So it makes us bitches or arrogant or whatever people choose to think.

People wanna bring you down to their level. So even though you're nothing but a cute little carry-on baggage of awesomeness, those people won't measure up to you like ever.

Angie All The Way said...

I have been curiously asked twice in the past few weeks if losing the weight has "changed me." My immediate answer wanted to be No, of course not, I'm the same person as I always was. But then the more I thought about it, I hasted to admit that it DID change me, but not in the way that people would rather perceive it.

I re-vamped the way I think about my health and consequently my life. This is a huge change. I've become more informed AND experienced with the battle that most people CAN'T beat. We've got "street cred" and it bothers people. Their perception of the "change" is directly related to how they feel about themselves and how threatened they are with having the weight loss struggle won right in their face, but out of their reach. Winning the battle gives me confidence to talk about something and give advice in an area that 95% of the people I know WISH they "got it." So it makes us bitches or arrogant or whatever people choose to think.

People wanna bring you down to their level. So even though you're nothing but a cute little carry-on baggage of awesomeness, those people won't measure up to you like ever.

soap box girl said...

Stop trying to figure other people out, you can't possibly know. And really, that's about them, not you. Bitchy is good. It means you aren't afraid to be known to others, or to speak your mind.

Natalie said...

I love your sarcastic sense of humour and your ability to tell it like it is. Chances are you're still the fantastic person you've always been but maybe taking up some of the limelight instead of the comedy side show has bugged a certain number of your former "friends".

A good friend of mine once told me that it's good to do a "house cleaning" of your friends once in awhile. Maybe it was time to get rid of some excess bagage anyway.

Anonymous said...

I have learned over the years, if you really want to see yourself, for who you really are, look into the eyes of a child. They don't care what you look like, they just want to sit and be in your company, their wee faces light up when you enter a room, regardless of what you look like or what you weigh. Their love is totally unconditional. I get caught up in the grown up world of being judgemental and always have to remind myself to be more child like and not childish like the friends I have lost. There in lies the difference.

Marie, my face has always lights up when you enter a room.

Mojo

katieo said...

Oooo, Loved Mojo's comment!

(couple days late I know but great post...)

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