9/24/07

why dating sucks arse

there are two points in the conversation that become VERY awkward.
  1. I'm on weight watchers this part is NOT awkward for me, no no, but seems to be weird for every guy. no one gets the point system, why I don't put dressing on my salad, why I won't eat everything on my plate or why I probably will not order dessert (unless I've planned for it WAAAAAAAY in advance). Or worse; he's had previous experience with a woman on WW and has been tainted by sliders FOREVER! With the former... trying to explain the point system - YEESH. Guys can figure out the complicated programming that comes along with electronic devices but can't figure out simple math...wtf?! The only way to make them "get it" is if I bust out my treo and show him the calculator because then it's a tech toy that he gets to play with and it's a common ground...unless he's a crackberry guy. Then I will get teased relentlessly. Luckily I'm more tech savvy than most guys and I make them look foolish. That's what you get for judging me on my treo, jackasses! (yes, i'm bitter much) muahahhaha.
  2. Trying to explain that I was once big I don't carry around pictures of myself at a larger size. You can't tell from my driver's license or health card pics either, so although explaining that you were once over 200lbs earns you props and kudos, guys will normally just say "You don't look it," or "I can never imagine you that size." That is really flattering and I should step out of the big girl mentality eventually, but I constantly feel like I have to explain to people that I was once a size XXL. I think it explains why I'm passionate about health, exercise and life now and also why I'm so self-conscious and timid as well. It lends itself to great stories too. Like how people don't recognize me anymore and how my idiot chiropractor asked me two years later if I had lost some weight (only about 70lbs, thanks for noticing). But deep down I think it is my security blanket. It protects me from someone criticizing my imperfections. The extra skin on my belly, my fly-away arms and any odd quirks I have. The quirks and flaws I SEE but people don't because they don't know the old me but who still lives somewhere inside of me. But I guess I could find something else to talk about...like my new adventures in knitting while kickboxing?

14 comments:

Amuldoon said...

My personal favorite part... is when they see you nekkid for the first time. Clothes are very good at hiding things... ugly fat gross jiggly things. And especially when they don't know that you were a fat bastard, they're always like "WTF is this".

Yup. I'm having a bad day.

Jen said...

*laughs* Those are issues in marriage too!!! Explaining points to Danny was pretty difficult!!!

I agree with what Amy said though, the clothes off thing...that's where I would feel the need to explain it, because you ALWAYS see it, and he might not...he might just be like "hm boobs" and then you have lost him (in a good way!) so there you go, show him your boobs! (I kid!)

If I met you for the first time at this weight (not seeing your before pictures) with the lifestyle you lead, I would have a difficult time believing it too...I think that is a huge compliment! You are the picture of health!

I like that you are more savvy than most men, put them in their place dammit!

jodi said...

hmm, i guess i'm lucky - eric totally gets the point system and is always asking me, "is this going to fit in your plan?"... i think if a guy is willing to understand, he will and if not - then don't push-it and continue doing your thing... if they keep hounding you about it, that's another story... ;o)

Angie All The Way said...

lol Amy!

This whole weight loss thing as we all know is so much of a mental thing. The physical shows the results, but what has gone on in the inside during the entire journey is an entirely different thing that doesn't scream out at people when they meet you as an "after." For me, it has become such a HUGE component of how I NOW think, so I do feel the need to talk about it when getting to know someone for some reason. I think because now, this IS me and I have embraced it for fear of losing it. For me I was lucky enough to snag my FH while I was fat, so he's seen all the jigglies in every stage.

But the other point about guys not really "getting it" and now it works is so true eh! You might as well be talking about TOM.

marie said...

amy - if you want entertainment, start stalking biggestloser1 on the GDT. it's the reincarnation of stephigirl, cutiepie, whatever, I SWEAR! and you're still a fox with a hottie soon to be hubby. *mwah*

and so true angie. i think i will talk about cramps and bloating next time I'm on a date and see how that goes, especially since i never talk about it here...

Sara said...

I find trying to explain Weight Watchers to anyone who just never had a weight problem really hard. They just don't get it. I always get - well why can't you just eat healthy, why do you have to track. Well thank you very much for the backhanded insult you jackass!! The ironic thing is it is usually comes from people who don't eat healthy they just don't have weight problems. Sheesh.

CaRoLyN said...

I'm another one who snagged her hubby while I was about 190lbs, then up to 222 lbs and everyday hubby kept saying he loved me and thought I was beautiful, although I couldn't see it through the stretch marks and fat. Now 70 lbs lighter, he doesn't treat me any different, although I know how proud of me he is.

I talk about WW with anyone who will listen. I'm damn proud of the fact that I lost 70 lbs! If I can do it and encourage other people to get fit as well, all the better!

Angie All The Way said...

I know eh! I never talk about that on my blog either and the thing is that my boss(es) read it so I hold back a lot (hate that), but what can you do really.

Hey, totally OT, but I'm heading to Bucks after work to meet a friend and I never go there. Any suggestions? I've done the Cin-dolce non-fat latte and like it a lot, but wanna try something different for 3 points or less?

marie said...

ooooooooh, starfuckers - my fave!

this has a list of 20 beverages under 200 cals. I personally get a sugar-free vanilla americano, which is just a flavour shot, espresso and water (and 0 points), but they also have SF hazelnut, caramel and cinnamon, I believe (jeepers can chime in if he's around at home in time)

do it up in a non fat latte instead if you like the milk. the SF caramel would be yummers. tall for 2, grande for 3.

if you have the extra point and like pumpkin, try a tall non-fat, no whip pumpkin spice latte.

man i want a scone now :'(

Angie All The Way said...

Thanks dude!

katieo said...

I could see why it's important to you that other people (especially potential significant others) realize what a big deal that little tidbit of information is. This transformation seems like it's a huge part of who you are: the work, the rewards, the struggles, etc. Unfortuantely that probably doesn't all come across when you try to let someone know what you "used" to be (in terms of numbers or a size).

TrixieBelden said...

i was afraid this is what i'd have to look forward to when i finally started dating! :) just kidding. but you do bring up a lot of things I expect to have problems with. I'm still trying to accept the fact that I look different. Have you ever had that problem? I just cannot see in the mirror the difference between me at 223 and me 75 lbs. lighter. No one seems to understand the points system, but then again I thought it was silly before I started WW. And I was one of those people who thought, "why can't you just count calories?" And I do the no dressing on my salad and my sister thinks I'm insane. When I say things like, "It's just not worth the points." she stares at me in disbelief. I can't imagine trying to explain it to a guy! I give you a lot of credit for trying.

TrixieBelden said...

i was afraid this is what i'd have to look forward to when i finally started dating! :) just kidding. but you do bring up a lot of things I expect to have problems with. I'm still trying to accept the fact that I look different. Have you ever had that problem? I just cannot see in the mirror the difference between me at 223 and me 75 lbs. lighter. No one seems to understand the points system, but then again I thought it was silly before I started WW. And I was one of those people who thought, "why can't you just count calories?" And I do the no dressing on my salad and my sister thinks I'm insane. When I say things like, "It's just not worth the points." she stares at me in disbelief. I can't imagine trying to explain it to a guy! I give you a lot of credit for trying.

Shirls said...

same things go with hubbies, he knows I'm devoted to my lifestyle but refuses to adopt a healthy one himself, if I could wrap it up into his blackberry though...

talk about carrying scars of the past, I'm sitting here still healing with a scar that goes past my hip bones on both sides and arm flaps to rival any birds wing span, yep there is no way I can forget where I came from and I'm damn proud of those things, well most days that is...

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