9/26/07

the pink wristband mafia

"i'm still sore from last night's bootcamp," said our instructor as she started out on our workout. ...funny, i'm still waiting for the ouch. So Elizabeth and I toddled off to our first class of Bikini Bootcamp last night and both of us were a bit unimpressed. First off, they had us weigh in and measured on a street corner pretty much. For two girls who are no strangers to a scale it wasn't THAT big of a deal, but to do it at a busy intersection in downtown TO, sort of annoying. Not to mention weighing me WITH MY SHOES ON!!! (I do enjoy being a few pounds heavier, ya know) Plus, they didn't tell us what the caliper measurements meant. I had a 15 at my arm, a 16 at my tummy and a 23 at my leg (at least I think that's what she said). WTF does that mean, people?!?!? It did make me realize I am sort of small up top though. But then the skinny bitches came up to get measured with their 26 inch waists and I died a little inside...but I felt better later on... But then the workout. What bootcamp incorporates grapevines? REALLY?!?! I felt like I was doing a cardio class at the rec centre! I was back at the City of Toronto doing step class with the older adults in spandex, I swear and I was barely breaking a sweat. But then the wispy girls were dying. Looks like Elizabeth and I were pretty good at holding our own. A testament to weight watchers and healthy living, if I do say so myself... but still, what does this say about this "bootcamp?" It was like a former fitness instructor/personal trainer mashed up a bunch cardio classes and some resistance training moves and put em all together and called it bootcamp and added bikini to attract women. GARBAGE i tells ya! It tells you that you get a FREE Physical fitness assessment/consultation, which I assume was my weigh in and measurements - it wasn't really a consultation, they just did it and moved on...no discussion about the results. As well, a FREE Custom designed resistance training program... I assume this is the GENERIC program everyone is getting? CUSTOM MY ARSE! And then there's the FREE “The Ultimate Girls Guide to Healthy & Sexy Body” fitness journal by Sammie Kennedy (the instructor) ...I wonder if it's stolen from cosmo or something... But the most important is the FREE Pink Wrist Bands! I swear that was worth the cost of the program alone! But seriously, why tell me this stuff is free? it isn't! I PAID you a program fee and I doubt it costs you THAT much to put this gig on from the looks of it. Either way, I'm sticking it out. It better get tougher though. I have a serious problem with a program calling itself a bootcamp with a smiling cheery instructor doing bouncy step class moves and not whipping my ass into shape. Me thinks you should rethink your marketing and PR strategy a little, dear. This grapevine may kill you.

10 comments:

Angie All The Way said...

I would imagine that your fitness level is far above most others who signed up for the class. Granted a "bootcamp" suggests something of an ass kicking or a higher level and it doesn't say much if the instructor is less physically fit than the participants. I suppose it also depends on how many of the people in the class are actually getting their ass kicked by the current level. If you and your friend are the only ones truly breezing through, than maybe the level is right for the class. All the other stuff they said they could offer sounds like crap to me. Most people would be mortified to be weighed in in front of people, much less in a main public place!

Although frustrating for you, it's gotta make you feel proud, or disappointed that the majority of society's fitness level stinks!

Jen said...

I agree, I think people just toss words around because they think it will attract people...I also think that there are a lot of "skinny fat people" out there and that class might be tough to them...to a tough, fit chick like you?? It's a breeze!!!

I think its cool that you are going to stick with it a bit, show those chicks what a former plus size girl can REALLY do!

katieo said...

That seriously sounds like my worst nightmare. Me and grapevines don't mix. Good for you for sticking it our. I'd complain until I got my money back. waa.

soap box girl said...

Grapevine? That's funny! You are in excellent shape, though and it would take a lot to feel like a bootcamp for you. But still. It sounds poorly thought out (weighing people downtown, lack of explanation for caliper measuring, etc.= not so good)

Sara said...

I agree I hear bootcamp and I picture someone yelling in my face while I have tears rolling down my cheeks trying to finish some of the hardest and most advance weight training moves out there. Grapevines for some reason just don't fit in with that picture! Good for you for sticking it out - I would be demanding a refund for false marketing!

4 more sleeps!

marie said...

Sara - 4 MORE SLEEPS! YAY! we should totally meet up on sunday, eh?

there was one good thing - there was some move she referred to as "balls" where she did a knee cross over to your other elbow type deal. I was more giggling at the fact that you had to yell balls as you did it, as that's the catch phrase we use at home lately when something sucked and it was soooo appropriate to the class at the time...

Amuldoon said...

Now I'm worried about my bootcamp sucking ass.

Lynn said...

Is it horribly offensive to tell the instructor their class sucks and is NOT kicking your ass the way you expected?!

It's so great that your fitness level is above them though, shows just how far you have come.

Israel said...

Sounds like you need to take the helm. I went through the real boot camp in south carolina for the marines and after a couple of days i too felt it was too easy. weird.

Angie All The Way said...

OMG I REMEMBER THIS NOW!!!!!!! Bahahaha! I can't wait to see if it's like the same experience you had! lol

This.should.be.interesting.

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