5/3/07

big boned or thick skulled?

I remember when I hit goal last summer, people were telling me that I couldn't afford to lose anymore weight because I would look emaciated (I ADORE that word, by the way). I specifically have a few family members on either side that told me my genetics won't allow me to lose any more weight because I'm "big boned" and I can't really go any lower because I'll look sickly, gaunt and all sorts of other flattering terms. But on the flip side, I've had others who don't know me as well who meet me today and tell me that I am more "fine boned." Colour me confused. Now, this term "big boned" comes up A LOT when people ask for help in searching out the right goal weight to choose. I, for the life of me, do not understand this term. People told me this ALL OF THE TIME when I was younger, had issues with my weight and I ...for lack of a better phrase...ate it up. But now I look at myself, and I don't see it. If we were to take the old standard of using your index finger and your thumb and going around your wrist to measure....Well, when I was over-weight, I could not do this. Now, I can fit my entire hand, completely closed around my wrist. Does this mean my bones are shrinking? I somehow doubt that. I think people are just full of crap. I think this is when I would go to good ol' Urban Dictionary for the definition of big boned versus everyone else's or try using medical help and fancy pants scales for the composition of my body and my exact bone density. Personally, I think "big boned" is a big load of hooey. And if I am, it's all concentrated in one spot...right in my noggin. In my opinion, think of your goal weight like an article of clothing. It needs to fall on your body right, just like a shirt or a dress does. Just like we don't choose ill-fitting clothes, we shouldn't choose a weight that doesn't fit us, flatter us or bring us any harm. That's why we have healthy ranges created based on ages & heights because extremes of highs and lows bring health risks that you need to consider and get assistance from a doctor if you're unsure. But if you are big boned, my boney butt apologizes :)

12 comments:

Christina said...

It is so funny you wrote about this because I have argued with people many many times about this issue. Whenever I talk about my weight and people want to be nice they always say to me, yeah but you are big boned....and I am like hellllllllll no! I have weighed in at one time 135-145 and trust me no one would have said I was big boned back then, it is a nice way of saying you are over weight and shouldn't worry about it :)
Have fun with your hills tonight babes, let them be kind :)

Maria said...

I so hear ya on this one. When I am packin' the pounds, people tell me I'm big-boned, but when I'm thinner it's suddenly 'oh, my, she's so fragile.' I'm not buying it - it's just me making my bones look fat. ;)

Jen said...

I HATE that term!!!!! And SO many people rely on it...I used to get that all the time but I have teeny wrists and small fingers and people refer to my face as "fine boned" so yeah, ok, just my rib cage, pelvis, and femurs are big...RIGHT!

I believe that my bones are spread WIDE, for instance, child bearing hips, my pelvis is wide but thin, I believe I am going to be a funny looking thin person!!! But it doesn't make my bones any heavier!!!

I guess whatever else them sleep at night right?

Mandy said...

Yah what's up with that term??? People throw it around like crazy and I have always hated it. I don't know what 'build' or size of bone structure I have because no one really knows, everyone just assumes overweight people are big boned. Pfft.

Marie, there is no way that you are big boned, my dear.

Shrunk said...

ITA! I hate it when people use that excuse! I know someone who says that about themself to explain that they aren't overweight. Ummm, if you're just big boned then why is your tummy so big? That's what I feel like saying :OP

jodi said...

i was called big-boned growing up, perhaps that was just a nice way of saying 'chubby'... i've done the finger/wrist thing too and i'm considered normal so go figure... i think your body knows where it wants to be, trying to change it will only make matters worse... accepting that is another story... :o)

~paige~ said...

i don't even use the big boned thing as an excuse, my ass is fat. that's it, that's all

Anonymous said...

Okay guys, there is such a thing as big boned. I have absolutely huge hands, I cannot buy bracelets as they never go around my wrist. I must buy anklettes and have the gold cut in order to fit around my wrist. Just last month I was given a bangle as a gift and the people in my office were shocked to see it would not go over my hand as the width of my hand from baby finger to forefinger is 3 3/4" - that's not fat ...... guess what ..... it's bone. So yes, some people use 'big boned" as an excuse, but some of us are "big boned".

Mojo

Natalie said...

Here's hoping all of your dhs/dbs are big boned. *Wink, wink.* Sorry, I couldn't help it. Sick, I know. LOL!!!!

I have a feeling my goal will change often as I get closer to it. Like you said, your body changes so much through the weight loss process, how can you know at first where you'll want to be? I'll keep going until it feels right.

Anonymous said...

people have different body types.2 people can weigh the same thing and b the same height but 1 willl still LOOK heavier than the other.c i dont have really big hips and thighs but u can tell they are there.ok i have noticable hips thighs booty and breast.but my stomach is flat.now what do u call that.cause im not fat and my wrist is thicker than my moms.

pt1 said...

Thanks Ladies for being so honest. I am a male personal trainer who just lost a client (she just walked out on me because I put her on the treadmill) who always referred to herself as "big boned". She is just fat and I always danced around it in order not to hurt her feelings or break her spirit. She has an attitude of entitlement, is lazy and has a bad attitude, not "big bones". She is a wealthy attorney who eats like crap drinks wine and fancy alcoholic drinks regularly and sits on her ass when she isn't with me. She has a house cleaning service, she has her car washed by others, and she has lawn service and pool cleaners. When she can she has spa service her and her girlfriends have slumber parties or go to resorts and eat and drink like royalty and she got mad because after years of building strength (she was fat mush, no muscle at all) so that she could move without hurting something (knees, back, etc,) I try now to use her strength to move her body more and more (the treadmill) she gets mad. I have her walk at an incline because she tells me her Chiropractor said no running or high impact exercise. Bottom line I built her muscles up and now was trying to move her in order to shed fat and she said it was boring and tried to tell me how to do my job. This lady bought a treadmill at my advice and was supposed to use it when not with me. We would do strength circuit training and she was supposed to supplement with 30-60 min of walking each day and she won’t do it. It is crazy to pay me to put her on the treadmill, but I tried real hard to do some strength and then treadmill so we could get her to meet the goals SHE set. Big boned is a lie that people tell others. This woman wants to never lift a finger and live in bliss 24/7. She wants her toes sucked and chocolate running down her mouth. I tried to educate her, encourage her, motivate her and nothing worked. I am very successful (however none of my successful clients ever said that they suffered from "big bones") that is what I think of "big bones".

marie said...

@pt my blog is not a platform for you to bash people anonymously.

I'd love to hear her side too.

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