assess my ass

So I'm going through my yahoo inbox, the e-mail address I signed up for WW with and clearing out the CRAP that amasses there, and i stumble across this GEM dated Oct. 20, 2005. I had been on the program 3 months at that point and it was about this time that I had started to fall off... From: Team@weightwatchers.ca Subject: Your Free Personal Assessment Results from WeightWatchers.ca
Marie, here is your personal assessment! Your Height: 5 feet 6 inches; Your Age: 26 years old; Your Weight: 189 pounds. Your BMI is 31 . This is signigicantly above the healthy BMI range of 20-25, which medical experts generally consider to be healthy. A BMI of 30 or above generally indicates obesity. Losing weight would help your health and energy level, plus reduce your risk for illnesses such as diabetes and heart disease. Weight Watchers can show you how to get started on the road to safe, effective weight loss, and stick with it until you're happy with your results.
Gee, thanks. Because I didn't know my weight was unhealthy. That's why I joined Weight Watchers. I love how they stick in the program at the end there. They're so slick.
Your weight should be between 124 and 148 pounds.
And it is now, thanks, weight watchers! My goal was 145. The tracker ACTUALLY chose somewhere in the 130s for me arbitrarily which i thought was RIDICULOUS at the start. I went and changed it to 150 at first. But then as things progressed, I made another change to 145. I'm in the 130s now and happy. We'll see how happy my doctor is when I have my physical on Wednesday. This is the part i find funny though....
Your style: You are a Chef / Transitional / Flexible Please see below for descriptions of your profiles. Your Food Profile: If you could, you would spend endless hours in the kitchen whipping up new recipes and creating culinary masterpieces. The kitchen is your favourite room in the house. You own more cooking utensils, baking sheets, and rolling pins than most people would know what to do with, but somehow, you put them all to good use. Weight Watchers sees a kindred spirit in the Chef because the Chef truly understands the value of food, both in taste and nutrition. And through that understanding comes a creativity to find ways to lighten up recipes without sacrificing quality.
ok, that part is true.
Your Workout Profile: You enjoy light activity, but a trip to the gym may not be part of your daily routine. You have enough time and energy to participate in the occasional fitness class or play a game of touch football at a family picnic, but for the most part, you're not looking for that rush of endorphins. You may not know it, but you are in a great position to take yourself to the next level of weight loss. By gradually increasing the frequency and intensity of your activities, you may also see an increase in weight loss and health benefits as well.
BAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! Ok, even BEFORE Weight Watchers, my fat arse knew it's way around a gym and went a few times a week. Ok, not when I went back up to 200+, but when i was around 170. And I frankly don't like fitness classes because I'm incredibly uncoordinated, I end up laughing my way through it and I annoy the shit out of other patrons. It was fine when I worked for parks and rec and I took the classes at the centre I worked at (because everyone knew me and loved me, and if they had a problem they knewI wouldn't do them any favours later on down the road), but people who attend classes at a gym are hardcore. I won't mess with that. Yes, I have increased the frequency and intensity of some of my fitness activities but this makes me sound like a lazy slob. My real problem was and still is that I'm an overeater and I made bad choices. Nice try Weight Watchers. NEXT!
Your Behavior Profile: You respond to both the freedom of choice and the structure of rules, depending on the situation. You don't like to work within a defined set of parametres, but you also don't like to be left flapping in the wind either. You take a "middle-of-the-road" approach to life, applying structure when it's necessary, but also allowing for flexibility when it's appropriate. You tend to remain fairly calm and collected in difficult situations, which is what keeps you grounded. For you, Weight Watchers offers the best of both worlds - a weight-loss system that suits your "structured" and "flexible" needs.
AMEN! I am a fence sitter, to be sure. Although I am a blunt son of a gun when I want to be. Hence the whole "flex" choice, I guess. Maybe THAT'S where they got this from. hmmm.... What a stupid assessment. I can't even find it on the site anymore. I wonder why?


Shirls said...

as a non on-liner this assessment of what I can do and can't do would honestly have freaked the crap out of me, telling me I don't exercise when I do.. it would have annoyed the crap out of me, so I say awesome for you for not letting their pre-determined judgements of you take you down a bad path! Seriously what a warped way of trying to get someone up and positive about the journey.. really odd to me

meredi said...

Wow, that is bizarre -- and really unmotivational in parts. Did you fill out some extensive survey to get these truly insightful glimpses into yourself? ;)

marie said...

yeah, there was some half-assed questionnaire i filled in. for the life of me i can't find it now.

the best part was there are HUGE ads for the program between each section of my "assessment" that i deleted before posting it here.

I was already a paying member, i don't get why they were still trying to sell me on the program through this assessment!

ah well...i may sound negative but i still wouldn't give this up for anything in the world!

Mandy said...


NattyMcGoo said...

Everyone loves a computer-generated assessment. How can they tell what kind of person you are without ever meeting you? Lame-o!


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