looking back to look forward

despite the fact that something so crappy had to happen to me to make such big changes, i am SO GRATEFUL that i made the changes that i did. I'm sitting here on my stupid stability ball, typing this, almost in tears, after a great run outside that i tried to talk myself out of several times (even while running) but I did anyway despite the wind trying to knock my arse down and looking at pictures that, well, don't really look like me. So for that person who said I don't really "look fat", let's take a stroll down memory lane... This would be me at the age of 13 with my granny. I remember wearing a size 16 then.

at my high school prom. I had the dress specially made because I couldn't find anything that fit me that I liked. Me at 21. I was 230lbs here and this was just before the first time I finally did something about my weight. at my brother Stephen's wedding in 2001 at about 175lbs which was my lowest ever before now. This was 7 months after the truck picture and after trying body for life. I gained 30lbs back in the next four years. So i found last year's resolutions -

• weigh less than 150lbs - DONE
• run the pride 5K run with John - DONE
• Get my G2 - ER.....

ok, so 2 out of 3 isn't bad. So for 2007 I will:

• Maintain my WW success (no back sliding this time!!) and track honestly!
• Run another 5k and find a 10K race
• Finally get my G2
• Try to be more positive in life
• Work on finding a new career (long term goal)

Wishing everyone a happy and prosperous new year!!

teehee...thanks lance :)

so this morning i was feeling blah. Yesterday I had my head up my arse: forgot my chiro appt, missed having dinner with my nieces, had exes call and harass my behind and a roommate who refuses to take his shoes off at the front door and never sweeps or mops in the house. So when I woke up at 9:30 instead of 8:30 to get to the gym, i was in a bad mood. But I dragged my sorry behind there anyway. I won't be the girl who let's things get her down, crawls back into bed and grabs a bag of chips like she used to, NO NO! Off I went to the gym and hopped on that treadmill. But I don't know what possessed me to select the 10k on my iPod instead of the 5k on the magical Nike+iPod which i LOVE AND ADORE. But I did. And I did it. uh...yeah. um still wondering what the fuck I did too. I finished and was like - wow! 10k was my goal for 2007 and that's still 2 days a way...what the hell am i going to do now?!?!?! Then on comes hottie Lance to congratulate me on my new, big achievement. Like he knew it was my goal. So thanks Lance. I appreciate it :) Now give us a kiss.

Since I was asked...

I may as well explain my nickname. I know it's a bit lame to be 27 and be referred to as mouse. In fact, my five year-old niece Sydney thinks so. My dad will say "Go give this to Aunt Mouse," and Syd is like, "Marie, why do they call you that? It's sooo silly!" Well...yeah, it is. But I've been stuck with it since I was 11. I have a mouse in my signature and one tattooed on the inside of my left ankle. But the story... It's Christmouse time (oh yeah! CHRISTMOUSE, darnit!) so my 3 brothers and I are all at home - so are my mom and my dad. Dad goes shopping and brings home one of those bigger bricks of cheese and places it in the fridge. Lord only knows why he did it: maybe it was on sale, maybe he was dreaming of having crackers and cheese while watching holiday movies, heavens knows! So my brothers and I are hanging out in the basement, playing on the computer (sans Internet then) but we're getting hungry and leftover turkey isn't cutting it anymore. So one of them comes up with the idea to slice the cheese up, put it on bread and toast it in the oven. I think it was my eldest brother Kevin. He was always the brains of the outfit. TRULY BRILLIANT! So we've got 4 slices of cheese, 4 pieces of bread, 4 kids.... are you doing the math? Yeah, we ate most of the cheese THAT DAY. Dad goes to get some cheese later on...sees the cheese...he's not a happy little man (remember: 5'4, chubby man, he'll look a bit like Santa once he goes fully white). Now I've gone up to my room at this point but my dad goes down to confront the boys asking "who's the little mouse" who stole all of his cheese. The boys, not wanting to take the wrap, blame me, because that's what sisters are for. When I resurface later I'm greeted with "so I see I have a little mouse in my house who ate all my cheese, eh?" yeah.....you get the picture. From then on it was "listen here, li'l mouse, you stay away from my cheese!", which I have. I have a slight lactose intolerance and aged cheeses are migraine triggers. My brother Stephen calls me mousearoo, my Dad calls me mouser, Mom calls me miss mouse, Kevin calls me mousekawitz, etc.... the combinations are endless and no one batted an eyelash when someone called and asked for mouse. I get more freaked out when they call me Marie, actually :)

dear anony-mouse....

Let me start of by saying I'm not bugged by your comments, just the fact that you have no backbone to leave your name to comments, or a track back to your own blog, etc. But you commented not once, but twice last night about my heels and AP comment within a couple of minutes of each other. First you said something about me being too short for my own good. Thanks, but i'm average and coming from parents who are 5'4 a piece, I'm THRILLED to be 5'6. Then you went on to say "The photo of you with your hubby or whoever he is...well you dont look fat." Number 1 - he's not my hubby, that's my cousin Christopher from a wedding we were at in August. Number 2 - I guess I wouldn't look "fat," as you put it, in that picture as I was at my goal weight then. If you went to the picture below that though, you would see where I started from. Last night though I found a photo album in my sock drawer. It has pictures of me from the age of 13 through high school and university that I think I'll scan this weekend and add to my blog to show everyone that being this small is a new thing for me. But thanks for your comments. I always appreciate them :)

i really think...

walking 1.5 km home from work each day in 3 inch heels should be considered a moderate to high intensity activity so that I can have an extra point....don't you think?

not a happy mouse...

Yesterday a tiny little post about how people confuse our weight loss with eating disorders comes up and whether they make these comments out of concern or jealousy. So I put in my two-cents because this is something I CONSTANTLY run into and suddenly a comment is raised about how one should be concerned about me because I'm 8 pounds below my goal. I was a bit disturbed and posted back that I'm well within the range for my height, my doctor isn't concerned about it and those comments had actually started when I was further from my goal. All day that post bugged me and I went back to look this afternoon to find another post addressed to me with that dreaded word included in it - emaciated. To think that someone who didn't know me thought that I could be "unhealthy" based on stats on a page and some opinions shared didn't seem fair. It was like I was being judged on what one thought was appropriate for her body or from her experiences and not mine. Let's set the record straight:

• WW actually chose a LOWER goal for me than 145 in my weight tracker when i started. I made it higher because i never thought i'd get here
• 137 isn't on the lower side. it's somewhere in the middle if my math is correct
• I never said it was about jealousy. I in fact stated that it was the stark difference between being big and small that causes people to put their feet in their mouths

But there was one bit offered that I do feel is BANG ON - we don't tend to see ourselves as others see us. True, we don't. I don't see an "emaciated" girl in the mirror - I see a healthy girl who gets up early to run every day now who couldn't run to the end of the block before...although she still has that big ol' roll of fat on her tummy if you want to come see it! I just don't get why we're all encouraging and "rah rah" up to a certain point and then we get all "don't get too crazy now..." on everyone and bring up eating disorders and ana websites when we see numbers lower than we're comfortable with. But this is my number and I'm comfortable with it, and my doctor is fine with my progress when I visit him every 3 months. I chose to let this program change my life and commit to it and I still plan to, whether I'm 145 or 135. If I had originally set my goal of 135 in August of 2005 on that stupid online tracker, I wouldn't have had to write this post.

materialism has taken hold of me....

I am in love with my new shoes. Wait - or am I in love with my iPod? No - I am in love with the combination of the two, brought together by a tiny sensor hidden in the sole of my left shoe. So after a stellar 6.5km run yesterday, I braved the Eaton Centre crowd and bought me a new pair of kicks. I was in desperate need of new runners as the soles on my current shox are starting to wear out from all of the running I've done in the last year. I've wanted to purchase a pair of Nike+ shoes since they came out, but couldn't justify spending $165 plus the $35 or so on the sports kit for my nano to track my runs. So there I was on boxing day, still high and sweaty from my run and I thought, "TO HECK WITH IT! MAMA NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES!!" So i waddled my bum on into sportchek, coast mountain sports, whatever they're calling it now, looked at the shoes (when people moved out of the way and didn't elbow me in the back) and noticed the ones I'd been eying for MONTHS were actually 30 bucks off! WOOHOO! So this morning a friendly female voice counted down my 5km run for me in my ear. She told me what my pace was 5:01 /km, that I had completed my run in 25:23, it downloaded the data from my iPod to a Website and tracked my run on a pretty graph, showing when i sped up, slowed down, etc. It's just the motivation I need to get me up to my 10km goal for 2007!

new traditions

Although I was upset about my traditional Christmouse being uprooted this year, I have to say my turkey ROCKED!

The li'l monster gave me some trouble at first but I wrestled him into the pan and stuffed him full of ...uh...stuff and threw him in the oven and VOILA! one perfect bird came out 3 and a half hours later (which would have looked perfect on a plate too if I had not left my dad in charge of moving the turkey from the pan to the plate. Note: never let a man finish your work).

I guess this is all a part of growing up and maturing. Although I'm in my late 20s and have been out of my parents house for some time, I was so accustomed to doing things as I always had as a child or their way because I always thought it was right or proper or what have you. But in the last year, I really have found my own way.

I think my mom really recognized too that we're all REALLY on our own separate paths this year. She gave me my own bible as a gift this year which I was really touched by and I know 5 years ago I probably would have turned my nose up at. The first thing I did was open it and I turned to her disappointed that it was still shrink wrapped and she hadn't filled out any of my family's information in it for me, which you would traditionally do in a bible. I don't think she expected my reaction (I don't think I believed myself either) but she told me she'd gladly bring over her own one day and fill it in for me.

My mini feast gave me the opportunity to prepare them things that I LIKE and that were better for my parents, who i'm ALWAYS concerned about - although they still got their stuffing and gravy....but they had A LOT more veggies than normal, no white bread or butter at the table, low fat frozen yogourt instead of ice cream for mom's trifle dessert....even with better options and controlling portions, i'm still going to have to run my arse off tomorrow. I'm feeling FUULLLLLLL.

Although it wasn't the same without the kids, I hope my parents were happy and next time we'll all be together celebrating as one big happy family again.

things keep getting weirder....

so now the one thing i was looking forward to, spending Christmas day with my two nieces, is being taken away from me. My sister-in-law has decided to take the girls to see her family on the 25th(who as far as I know don't celebrate Christmas for religious reasons...) and my brother Stephen will be working (he works for the TTC and since they're an essential service, he doesn't get the day off). Now this, is WEIRD. The fact that she's not letting us celebrate with the kids means something is up. But I've never seen my parents so crushed as I did last night when I was over to have dinner with them and I installed the printer John and I bought my Dad for Christmas early so he could print up his resumes. So, to take some stress off of them, I've offered to make Christmas dinner for them. That's right: I'm cooking my first bird Monday. John and I just came back from grocery shopping and things look hopeful but the stuffing is really up in the air at this point. I'm not a terrible cook by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm scared none the less. So say an extra prayer for me at mass Christmas Eve/Christmas Day and check back on Monday for the full report.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

ok, i can hear my mother "tsking" across town for proclaiming that outloud - and i do apologize if taking the lord's name in vain offends anyone - but i am having a CRAPTASTIC week.

• i am NOWHERE near finishing my Christmas shopping and i have NO CLUE what to get my brother Kevin and his wife
  
  
• I ran into one of my aunts whom is on the outs with the rest of the family and has been causing a lot of distress about my gran's estate. She came into a toy store I was in, saw me and ducked behind a display (but suddenly I hear I'm getting an inheritance cheque today...very weird. )
  
  
• the hard drive on my computer at work died yesterday and I've spent the past day reinstalling software because no one thought to clone or ghost my machine. My brother came by to keep me company (and help me retain my sanity) and was nice enough to bring me starbucks (i love free sugar-free vanilla americanos. it pays to have a bro who works @ the 'bucks)
  
  
• my brother and i went to get pics with Santa yesterday and i look like a corpse with pink hair in it (although first they tried to give us ones that looked like our eyes were bleeding blue and thought that was perfectly ok for us to pay for, said that there wasn't much to be done about it since it just happens with the "shrinking of the image." Uh, hello - if you're selling an inferior product, maybe you shouldn't be in business? BAH HUMBUG! at least John looks adorable.)
  
  
• then jeepers was craving Swiss Chalet so off we went for the festive special because it's all about those free chocolates. Well, the service there was horrible, the place was a mess and it just made my day worse. John was nice enough to pay but i got sneaky and tried to steal the white chocolate lindt balls out of his package while he was gone.
  
  I had pretty much gotten away with it but the silly tab on the little village boxes they come in this year wouldn't close on mine when he got back. Then the lil rat did the nicest thing: he opens his and goes "oh darn! mine didn't come with a white one! i was going to trade you!" i don't think i ever smacked my head so hard in my life!
  

makes me think i should have read that post that Shirls wrote about karma a little closer and taken notes...

cleaning out my closet....

With winter fast approaching, I've been digging into the back of my closet for comfy v-neck sweaters to wear over dress shirts to work, a look i always looooove!

problem: all v-necks i own are a size large or x-large.

problem: marie cannot wrap her head around the fact that she is NOT that size anymore.

solution: marie must FINALLY clean out her closet.

end result: WHOA! 2 and a half garbage bags worth of goods to give away, and a bag worth of fine stuff that will be given to my sister in law (as it is designer stuff, still fairly new and in her size...score for her!)

It's not like I hadn't been giving stuff away along my journey but I guess I had been holding back...A LOT. I wonder if part of me thought I'd fail again or it was just not thinking about the winter clothes. Either way, it was the catharsis I needed this week :)

inside, outside, upside down

well happy monday turned into...well, miserable monday really. My big problem from last Christmas that helped me turn my life around came back to haunt me on Monday. Apparently 'tis the season to make amends for some people... bleh. Let's just say I've blown all of my flex points for the week already, I'm not too happy about it and I've been feeling pretty blah. I peeked at the scale this morning and was back up between 138 and 139 (it was dark and 5:30...a bit of a blur really) - not thrilled but it's alright because really, i shouldn't be hopping on there everyday. Wasn't thrilled either at the fact that after peeking I hopped back into bed and snoozed until 7:30 instead of hauling my behind to the gym because that's the one thing I need to do. It's not that going to the gym is me trying to "look better" - I mean sure, I'd love to get rid of that last roll I have on my stomach but that's been there for YEARS and it's not coming off overnight. But going to the gym makes me happy, it helps me clear my head, running on that treadmill gives me time to think, standing there in between sets let's me ponder stupid, inane things like why brown shoes and black pants DO NOT go together (and i don't care WHAT you say!) or how much I miss Sydney and Erin and what I need to buy my brothers for Christmas... but is it those last 5 pounds that keep me going back or the happy factor? I'm starting to wonder...I only say this because I KEEP seeing posts by girls who reach their goals but never seems to be happy themselves, and i think they should be. They're constantly looking to lose just "5 more pounds." It's like when we get to goal we need something else to strive for that we look for something else to latch on to and don't stop until we get there. But i'm wondering if we get a little too obsessed with image, body fat, exercise, etc along the way? I'm mean it's great that we become so aware of what we're putting IN our bodies along our journey but maybe we should REALLY take the time to look at how we look on the OUTside too. We change SOOOO much. For crying out loud - you're running when you've never run before. You can see muscle that used to be hidden under layers of chub. Be proud of that, not the 5 pounds that may or may not come off one day (and that you probably need to keep you warm now anyway!). Success isn't always on the scale. Go look in the mirror.

Happy Monday :)

well after a very good week back OP, i somehow managed to lose those 2 pesky pounds and 3 more...YIKES! I'm 137 this morning! nooooo way! that's 2 pounds away from my personal goal of 135 which I never really thought I'd make it to yet here i am sooo close.... So yesterday was my Uncle Jim and Aunt Brian's (I already have an Uncle Brian, so we call him Aunt Brian - it's cute) annual Christmas party. I have realized we are like the WW family. My uncle Jim and Aunt Maureen are on the program too and have had HUGE success with it. It's cute going around the food table and my aunt chastising me about point values and then later telling me she's giving up and having a free-for-all. Or I could tell when my uncle was being complimented by his guests and he tells them it's because of WW. He'd start talking about the program and I could hear him drop my name across the room followed by "...and she's lost 65 POUNDS!" they'd all gasp and look over and I'd have to politely wave across the room so they wouldn't confuse me and my sister in law, who has also been on weight watchers in the past and is actually the reason I tried it in the first place. Then other guests file in, one a hair dresser who is a leader at meeting somewhere in the GTA ...I couldn't help but chuckle! It's funny: all this time I thought I was really doing this "on my own" by doing it online and not going to meetings, but really i have a huge support group of people on weight watchers, i just call them family :)

1 hurdle down...BIGGER ones to come

our holiday party last night was great! well, the turn out was crap! about 75 people were SUPPOSED to show up and only about 40 appeared - NOT impressed. I managed to stay away from the food but had one little spanikopita triangle (which i tracked and had points for - woohoo! - and it was sooo worth it) . Many of my clients whom i haven't seen in the last 9 months didn't recognize me AT ALL! It was funny as I greeted them by their first name and they replied "who are you?" and the look of shock/surprise/embarrassment when I told them. Then the inevitable "how did you do it?" questions rained down on me and I happily discussed WW with anyone who would listen. Unfortunately, before I left for the party, my mother called me to tell me my father had been laid off from his job this week. This is the third time in five years that my dad has been faced with this. I find this time particularly strange because he's the highest paid parts man at his dealership but the junior man there (he just has the most years of experience overall) PLUS one of my friends recently interviewed at that dealership for a mechanic position so for them to say they don't have the money to employ my father but are still going through the hiring process with other prospects irks me. So what should have been a happy friday where we were to celebrate little Erin's 2nd birthday is becoming a toned down affair. My brother wants us to come to his house and order pizza instead of going out to dinner where i could have chosen something that suits me. Now I want to throw my whole week away because I find myself in a big old funk wanting to eat everything in sight and wondering what my poor dad did to deserve all this bad luck?

testing testing, 1 2 3...

We interviewed a gentleman for a telemarketing job with our company today who had a TOTAL radio voice. Brought me back to my j-school days. I sort of miss them and I don't. I'm not cut out for broadcasting (well, in an "on-air" sense anyway, my child-like voice would NOT cut it!) but it would have been thrilling to produce or write... Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I had accepted that job at TVO instead of going back to school for PR and ending up working in IT. It's a strange world, eh?. Anywho, I've had a GREAT week so far! I've counted every little point. No bites, licks or tastes either - although i was soooooo tempted to throw it all away last night and have one of those magic cookie bars I made last week, but had a small, 2-point rice krispie treat instead. The past 3 and 1/2 days have made me wonder how i survived on 20 points before I went on maintenance and then got super lazy and stopped counting - this is crazy! Thank goodness for flex points - and i still have 24 left until Monday! Tonight is the true test though- our office holiday party at Mercatto, a nice little Italian place on Bay St. It is sure to be loaded with good eats and free booze (good thing i gave that up!), so I'll have to be careful of what I choose to nibble on. After all, I still have a birthday party for Erin and my uncle Jim and aunt Brian's (you read that right :) ) Christmas gathering this weekend to contend with! What a fine week to go back OP with a vengeance!

Happy Birthday Erin

big birthday smooches to one of my adorable nieces, Erin Kaleigh, who turns 2 today.

when cleaning goes terribly wrong

so on the weekend when i was on my regular cleaning binge, i noticed my plugin air-fresheners needed replacing. Off to the grocery store i went and had fun picking new and wonderful scents for different rooms.

Since i loooooove all things vanilla, i picked that scent for my room. BIG mistake. It now smells like cupcakes in here.

Now all i can think of is that WONDERFUL store in Kitsilano(West Vancouver) that sells those YUMMMMMMY cupcakes in regular and mini sizes. These things are chocolate, vanilla, have sprinkles, coconut, caramel, coffee flavoured - ohhhh the combinations!

I went by this store on my run every morning when I was there to visit my friend Janet in September and watched them baking and decorating these delicious and evil treats, never buying one but drooling at the window each day until the last when I FINALLY caved and bought a tray to bring home to my brother...and one regular one for me. They barely survived the flight home and only made it a day, as the teeny treats were scarfed down quickly, my brother didn't even appreciate the differences between them (or the care i took to bring them home to him!).

Thankfully there is NOTHING like this in my neighbourhood (I think there is on Queen West though...) and i'm resisting the temptation to go to Dominion and purchase some ghetto version or even worse....bake my own!

142 today and not happy about it...

...but it serves me right for all of the baking i did in the last two weeks (and consuming of aforementioned baked treats on the sly when no one was looking...although when there's only myself and my brother around to eat them, there really is NO ONE looking.).

This IS is a tough time of year. I was looking at the pictures on my computer the other day, trying to find a good "before" picture to post (still trying...) and came across some from my niece Sydney's birthday party last year, the same time i fell off the WW wagon...


At the time I thought I was looking good, I had lost 17 pounds. I look at it through my eyes NOW and I had a long way to go. And after those pics were taken I had a lot of things go wrong in my life, I took a few steps back and gained half of the weight back and it wasn't until the New Year that I finally committed to this program.


But I wish that someone had sat me down and told me a few things before I had started that don't quite come in the welcome package... that is if i got a welcome package, we don't really get one doing this online, do we?

• GO TO THE BOARDS RIGHT AWAY: so many helpful women who know where to get low point treats, exercises for everything, inspirational stories, recipes, etc....
  


• take pictures and measurements the day you start and throughout your journey, FULL BODY, even if they're horrible - you'll be thankful in the end
  


• develop a thick skin: for every 7 positive comments you get about your weight loss, there will be 3 idiots who make eating disorder comments, tell you to slow down, etc. At first you can tolerate it, but eventually it gets on your nerves
  


• don't make expensive clothes your mini-goal rewards: they're going to be too big before you can properly enjoy them and you'll end up wasting your $$
  


• one size doesn't fit all for advice: although you get great advice from people, it may not always be best for YOU! Just because you drank all of your water and exercised everyday, you may still end up with loose skin in the end (mine looks like quick sand and feels like poultry....the boys are LINING UP, let me tell you!)....just be patient, take things into consideration, do your thing: you'll find your way
  

why i love my gym

because it's NEVER short on humour....

• 3 free weights missing are missing from the rack. woman X comes in and takes the 1 remaining 12.5lb weight and then starts FRANTICALLY looking around for the other. she spends 5 minutes looking around the entire women's floor for this weight. NOW, there are 2 other women using free weights. I have the 2, 15lbs weights doing deadlfts and woman Y has one in her hands doing some tricep extensions. now one would have deduced that SHE had the weight ...but it wasn't apparent to her. i had a good chuckle...
• Barbie: wears a little sports bra and teeny shorts every morning at 6am on the first treadmill next to the hallway to the men's changeroom...coincidence??oh i think so...one morning she abruptly gets off...it's quiet so i notice as she thumps off...all 110lbs of her....she comes back 2 mins later with her cell phone...5 mins later i somehow manage to hear a huge THWACK over slipknot at fullblast in my ear as Barbie has managed to bounce her noodle off of the console of the treadmill as she is TEXTING SOMEONE WITH HER CELLPHONE WILL RUNNING AT 8 MPH....you bet your butt i laughed out loud at her behind.
• people trying to read NOVELS on a treadmill....i can see reading on the elliptical but if you're running...are you kidding me???...you ain't reading crapola on here....you'll be lucky if you can drink water and run at the same time and not fall over...because that's talent...just look at barbie there...she's got a big owie on her noggin now.
• the masochist who turns on the food network while running: there's actually two of them now, one used to watch mama's family but now that it's no longer on every morning she needs something else to watch. Well one day the original one got on a treadmill that was out of order (apparently the big white sign that told her so wasn't big enough for her read). Once she realized this, she decided to switch over to the one on my right instead, as the broken one was on my left, but chose to walk across my treadmill to do so..... which threw her onto the floor behind me. Apparently me running on the treadmill wasn't a clear enough indication that it was infact IN MOTION and it was safe for her to step on and across.
• the people who trip on the lines to the machines that use air pressure and then frantically catch them as they spin around in the air, trying to reconnect them before the hissing sound annoys the snooty regulars in the club.
• THE REGULARS! heaven forbid you take their treadmill/elliptical/bike/group exericise spot at the regular time or change the tv station (one day a woman in her 30s took a hissy fit when someone changed "saved by the bell" off on her...i just about DIED) or take up valuable mirror time in the morning. we wouldn't want to upset THEIR schedule!

I think i get more benefit from laughing than the exercise there!

if it weren't for this lousy headache....

I'd actually feel good about myself today. ...and i would have gotten out of bed at 5:30 instead of 6, but i still went to the gym! ...and i might have run 3 miles instead of 2.75, but i still got my lazy bum on that treadmill! ...and i could have easily went to timmy ho's and bought a bagel for breakfast out of sheer laziness, but stuck to my plan of oatmeal and yogurt ...and i could easily say "to hell with it!" to my packed lunch and eat out, but i won't, i'll be strong! (pray for me on that one!) ...and i will avoid the candy on the accounting lady's desk as i have stocked up on thinsations and smartpop and will only have those should i want a snack at work...or maybe i'll go to the 7-11 and treat myself to a cadbury thin. i haven't had one of those in awhile and i already have a headache, might as well have some chocolate! hmmm, maybe I DO feel good after all :)