inside, outside, upside down

well happy monday turned into...well, miserable monday really. My big problem from last Christmas that helped me turn my life around came back to haunt me on Monday. Apparently 'tis the season to make amends for some people... bleh. Let's just say I've blown all of my flex points for the week already, I'm not too happy about it and I've been feeling pretty blah. I peeked at the scale this morning and was back up between 138 and 139 (it was dark and 5:30...a bit of a blur really) - not thrilled but it's alright because really, i shouldn't be hopping on there everyday. Wasn't thrilled either at the fact that after peeking I hopped back into bed and snoozed until 7:30 instead of hauling my behind to the gym because that's the one thing I need to do. It's not that going to the gym is me trying to "look better" - I mean sure, I'd love to get rid of that last roll I have on my stomach but that's been there for YEARS and it's not coming off overnight. But going to the gym makes me happy, it helps me clear my head, running on that treadmill gives me time to think, standing there in between sets let's me ponder stupid, inane things like why brown shoes and black pants DO NOT go together (and i don't care WHAT you say!) or how much I miss Sydney and Erin and what I need to buy my brothers for Christmas... but is it those last 5 pounds that keep me going back or the happy factor? I'm starting to wonder...I only say this because I KEEP seeing posts by girls who reach their goals but never seems to be happy themselves, and i think they should be. They're constantly looking to lose just "5 more pounds." It's like when we get to goal we need something else to strive for that we look for something else to latch on to and don't stop until we get there. But i'm wondering if we get a little too obsessed with image, body fat, exercise, etc along the way? I'm mean it's great that we become so aware of what we're putting IN our bodies along our journey but maybe we should REALLY take the time to look at how we look on the OUTside too. We change SOOOO much. For crying out loud - you're running when you've never run before. You can see muscle that used to be hidden under layers of chub. Be proud of that, not the 5 pounds that may or may not come off one day (and that you probably need to keep you warm now anyway!). Success isn't always on the scale. Go look in the mirror.


Amanda said...

that is such an awesome way to look at it, i know i've had that problem before. when i was skinny (125lbs) i used to think i was fat. i'd stare at myself in the mirror and think "gross". but now i would kill to be 150! and i am proud of myself that i've lost 11.4lbs! i've never stuck to anything like this and it feels good! thanks for reminding me to look at the upside of it!

Shirls said...

I think that last line sums it all up very nicely "Success isn't always on the scale. Go look in the mirror."

We all need to remember that more often :)

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